Feeling Your Way Through Life.....by feeling your feelings....

Hi Sky, I hope you're having, or, well, had, a decent go at things today. Don't forget to use your brain now and again, ya wouldn't wanna end up acting all dopey and stuff. I LOVE YOU SKYLAR!!!!!! Excuse me, I'll try and keep those outbursts under control. Well, I went to the pain management center twice now and I've had two different types of epidural corti-steroid shots, and......nothin, nada, zilch :-( . Man, Bum-Mer, I don't know why these things didn't work either, although I think they might be making me feel a little sick, but I'm monitoring that situation. The first shot was in the middle of my lower lumber spine, that's several inches above your tailbone, and the second shot was in nearly the same location, but, they went in from both sides instead of straight in, which required two injection points, yowee. I don't know what I'm gonna do if the next one is a flop too, I guess I'll just have to go on with the pain, life's not going to stop for that. Anyway, that's where I'm at with the medical stuff, so far, now let's get back to you.

Have you been keeping your mind stimulated with positive and constructive things? Reeeeeally, have you? Tell the truth now. Ya know, you really should try and keep your mind busy with positive stuff, honey, 'cause it's great for you, and it'll keep you on track and out of trouble, you know, trouble, that bad thing that fills your life with heinous grief and a morose sense of malcontent. Yeah, that trouble. I'm sure you don't want a heaping dose of that, do you? That's a rhetorical question by the way, of course you don't want a giant dose of nastiness, I realize that, I'm just saying, well, you know what I'm saying, can you feel me on that? I'm sure you can feel what I'm gettin at. Hey wait, that (feeling), I believe, could probably be a post topic on it's own. Hey, as a matter of fact, since I don't really have a primary topic pre-chosen for this post, I think I'll try and elaborate on feeling, in the functional internal sense. Yes, so it's instantly decided.

Today's post will talk about the process of feeling, and the importance and usefulness of coming into touch with our innate ability to be internally sensitive to the external stimuli around us, and to naturally channel these feelings into a better sense of understanding things on a more honest and pure level, and thusly helping us to be better prepared to know what action to initiate and in determining the choices that we make. Yow, that seems a bit daunting, even to relatively fearless me. Oh well, nothin to it but to do it, so I guess we should probably get started.....

First of all, it's important to recognize that our ability to feel is incorporated into our daily lives every bit as much as breathing and all of our sensory abilities. In fact, it is through these sensory perceptions that we receive an abundance of the informational data that we use to determine how we are going to feel and what, if any, actions we will decide to take. Fortunately, most of this type of sensory processing is done on a somewhat automatic basis, deep within our subconscious mind, and we never even really realize that it's even happening,it's quite intuitive and second nature. I stress the word somewhat because I believe that we all, or at least most of us, are born with the innate ability to become much more in touch with this process and more involved in how we perceive, associate and connect with existing knowledge or perception, and react accordingly, to the stimuli that we process through our selves. This is commonly, and erroneously, referred to as intellectual thought, which in fact, is the power of knowing as distinguished from the power to feel. What we are talking about here is more like total sensory perception...in a very heightened state.

Before I proceed, it may be worth mentioning that perhaps the things I share with you in these posts are of a progressive nature and are best used as a collaboration of thoughts and information. Let me explain a bit further, darling. A perfect example would be this post that I am writing right now. This post is about feeling and your capacity to, and ability to, allow yourself to openly, freely, boldly, fearlessly feel. In order to be able to approach this concept in any honestly legitimate way, it will be necessary for you to incorporate several of the elements that I have attempted to describe to you in prior posts. For instance, first of all, it's going to take a respectable amount of courage to allow yourself to truly shed, even momentarily, all the protective layers like masks, emotional walls, and other defense mechanisms that we all either consciously or subconsciously hide behind in our day to day lives. It can seem very difficult, initially, but in order to be able to attain the desired level of totally neutral placidity and nakedness of ones Psyche that is best for being in an optimum state to freely channel the energy flow associated with your feelings, you'll need substantial amounts of honest courage, honesty and open mindedness, among other elements previously mentioned in this web log(blog!).

It is also worth reiterating that a significant portion of the statements I am using in a descriptive sense in this web log(blog!) are mostly or entirely subjective in nature. Now then, that's all the disclaimers I have, so, now that that is out of the way, let me attempt to zero in on what I'm trying to explain to you. I'll start with an example, ya know how, when you're doing something, and you get this feeling that what you're doing is wrong (of course you don't, right?), well, that sense of feeling is the general area I'm trying to bring in to light here. Many refer to this as the human conscience, but I'm saying to you now, that there is a much more profound ability, innate to all of us, that is more than just the sense of right or wrong or egomatic dictates of conscience. I'm saying that if you can allow yourself to attain the fully vulnerable state required to become sensitive enough and can train yourself to heighten your own level of awareness, it is possible to increase your sensitivity levels, and, integrate with your natural intuitive abilities to achieve a superior state of extra sensory perceptiveness.

I can imagine how sci-fi this all probably sounds to you, but I assure you that while I may have a bit of difficulty articulating it properly for explanation purposes, there is a valid and usefull point in there as well. My challenge is just to bring it out in a way that is understandable to you and that will allow you to utilize the info I'm attempted to explain. Let me try some more with this example. Once, many years back, I was vacuuming at my house down in Florida when I started getting this feeling that something bad had happened, and it was family related, but I didn't know who or what at the moment. I decided to call my mom up in Illinois(Ill-Annoy) and when I did she proceded to inform me that my grandmother had had a heart attack very recently and she hadn't had a chance to call me yet to let me know.

At around the same time frame, my brother, way out on the west coast, was also having some bad feelings, although his were a little more specific in nature. My mom sounded a little stunned when I called her and said "Is everything alright? I've been having some bad feelings, like something happened to someone". She told me that when she called my Brother, moments ago, that when he answered, he said "it's Grandma, isn't it, did she die?" and my mom hadn't even said a word yet. I know, weird huh? The craziest part of all this is that nobody had any reason to believe that anything should even be wrong with our Grandmother and we hadn't any kind of warning that this was is any way likely or expected to occur. So how'd we both seem to get some freaky vibes at the same time and know to various degrees that something had happened to one of our family? The short answer? I honestly don't know. I will try to return to that later,
IMPORTANT NOTICE ---- THIS POST IS NOT YET COMPLETE AND, HENCE, IS A CONTINUING WORK IN PROGRESS. THIS STATUS WILL BE IN EFFECT UNTIL THIS NOTICE IS NO LONGER POSTED. THANKYOU. (Sorry Sky, I will get this one completed just as soon as possible, honey!! I just had it so horribly backlogged that I didn't want to leave it as a draft any longer. Cool topic though, don't ya think? Love You, Me.)

We Now Interrupt This Program...for station identification...and stuff

Hi Sky, I'm afraid I'm going to have to postpone this installment until I'm feeling in a little bit better health. I believe that the epidural steroid shots I've been getting are starting to make me sick. I will post the post I'm already working on when I return in the following few days, but not to worry, I will definitely come back, as soon as possible, and fill this in with a more worthy post as well. I love you Sky, very much. Please take care and I'll post a new one in just a few more days if at all possible, unless I get sicker or something, which, in that event I'll get myself stabilized and get back to posting just as soon as I possibly can. I love you sweetie!

Just because this is a preempted posting, for the time being, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to remind you....Skylar, please make sure that you treat people with the courtesy and respect that you would prefer to be treated with. Also, it's very important, that, as your making choices throughout your day, that you use a little foresight and your God given ability to know wrong from right, and always make absolute sure that you are conscious of doing the right thing, 'cause it's the right choice, and because it definitely totally matters. God bless, sweetie, I love you lots. Adieu ma fille, vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours. Dieu, j'aime ma fille !!

Get Your Beautiful Heart Set.....on living a great life....

Hi Skylar, it's good to be alive today and able to make this post, and I am grateful for that. Are you getting a lot of opportunities to learn new things at school? I hope so, and I especially hope that you are aware enough to seize these opportunities when they're put forth to you, Sky. Knowledge is power, sweetie, and you're only truly there to make yourself stronger, so you should definitely get your heart set on learning as many new things as possible, while you have the time, chance, and ability to. If you see this advice as wise, and follow it, sometime in your future you will reap some positive benefits from that decision, of this I do assure you, with the utmost of confidence. In fact, it's reasonable to presume that if you fail to seize these opportunities to acquire a strong educational foundation for yourself, while you are given the chance, that you may likely experience an equal amount of result, to the opposite of positive. Great, no pressure there, right?

Just remember, nobody ever said that you can't enjoy yourself while you're taking care of personal responsibilities. You should allow yourself to feel happy just in the fact that you're advocating for yourself in a very positive and lasting way and that you're buying yourself a much sounder future in the process. You should definitely be uplifted by the realization that you are improving yourself by learning new things, and simultaneously assuring that you will be able to avoid a plentitude of unneccesary hardships in your future. That's "free goodness", there for the taking. You're a smart girl, sweetheart, I'm sure you can weigh this one out for yourself. ¿Entienda, guisante dulce? Bueno, muy bueno. Now then, when you go to class the next time, hopefully you should approach your lessons with a newly enhanced vigor due to this new perspective that you now posses. ¿sí? bueno, sí. I have faith in you baby, I just want for you to see yourself excel, and seize the greatness that you have before you. ¿entienda? maravilloso.

You would be well served, darling, by allowing yourself to realize that you can draw a tremendous and continuous flow of positive energy, just through the honest realization that you are living your life in a positive, upstanding sort of way, that is both constructive to a stronger and safer future, and productive to your present day needs along your life journey, and toward the fulfillment of whatever goals and aspirations you may hold for your life. The idea here is, you are doing good for yourself by a positive, productive exertion of your personal energies and just through the realization of the reality of this fact, it naturally stokes you on the positive vibes from understanding that you're doing good. The fact that you're active in this way brings a natural air of happiness with it. Feel me, babe? Coolness.

The antithesis, or, exact opposite, of this wellspring of awesome vibes, would be the lowly person that's just sitting around grim faced and sulking about how much of a "loser" they feel like and feeling bad/guilty about not contributing in any positive way, neither to themselves, or in the larger picture, to the greater population around them. In contrast to the "good energy" person, this one brings on a poor, and badly lacking sense of self-security, and seems to languish in a stenchful pit of negative energy that virtually manufactures it's own unlimited supply of self-pity and confidence crumbling dispair. This person feels often overwhelmed by the scourge of self-perceived failure and an overall feeling of societal incompetence and general inadequacy. I know, yuck city, ya definitely don't wanna be heading in that direction. That's a very bad and mentally taxing state to be in, and it tends to dramatically decrease the life span of those that suffer this state of being for any extended period of time. "Like it not, this idea I do," said Yoda. It's way preferable to just engage your life as an exciting and challenging experience that you're grateful to be involved in, and that you look forward to moving through with a positive take on things.

Get what I'm sayin sweetie? I would think that you'd naturally want to committ yourself to the happier of these life journeys. If so, now would be the time to get your heart set on dedicating the effort it takes to live your life in a positive and productive way, and to reap the healthier benefits as a result. When I used to live down in the Florida pan handle (Panama City), there was a southern lady that I met and one time she was talking about her daughter and the fact that her daughter needed to make a very important choice in her life. She said " Well, she's just going to have to get her little 'ole heart set on it, 'cause that's the way that it is gonna be". I'll never forget how she said that, she said it in such a matter of fact sorta way, ya know? It struck me at that moment, that, if you need to do something or take a particular action in your life, and maybe you're hesitant, or just outright don't want to do it, whatever it is can still be accomplished, if you just intentionally "set" your heart to the belief that, this is just plain the way it is going to be, period.

I understood that to mean that you took on a total and unrelenting acceptance of whatever idea or decision you were "setting" your heart on. It makes it sound like a scientific apparatus that you can just set to a precise increment and that will produce steadfast results to your exact calibrations. It's cool to think that if you truly want to, or just really need to, do something important, that you can just, with a little bit of willing commitment, "set" your your heart on that in a solid way, and then it's off you go. Whoa, sometimes those Southern folks say some really cool stuff. Hopefully you can learn from this little recollection of mine, and you can learn to set your own heart, on taking a successful outlook toward your life and become totally willing to put in the effort it will take for you to enjoy a comfortable level of personal satisfaction within your life. You know, like not suffering through many unnecessarily heinous situations in your life, or getting caught in an energy draining trap of constantly having to battle some ugly personal demons that you've unwittingly created for yourself. Yeah, that's a bogus trip for sure.

"Attention passengers, the pilot has permanently turned on the no smoking sign, and has informed me that we will not be landing in Bummersville today, but will instead be continuing on to the much bigger and better, destination of your choice. Thankyou, and you may now feel encouraged to move around your life freely, for the remainder of your time on Earth." :-)

In case you haven't already gathered, that flight attendant is your consciousness, and the pilot, of course, is You. I guess you could say you're flying the questionably friendly skys aboard "yourlife airlines", and on your way to, what holds strong promise of being, a pretty decent future. Life is like one big plane ride, it all just jets right past us, in a supersonic flash of time. The second most important key to it all, is to be able to somehow grab a hold of even just the smallest little gleam of it as it screams off by you up into the sky. The first is to be able to share some of your good fortunes with others. I hope you will afford yourself the ability to look upon your life as the exquisite gift that it is Sky, and to approach the positive realization of this gift with the seriousness and consideration that it deserves. Contemplate this thought for a moment. Think about things, allow yourself to free your mind, feel your inclination, what do you want to do with your life? The choices are all before you, and the future is yours to create. I love you sweetie, and I have great faith in your abilities. I know that you will feel what is right, and take the appropriate action, in your own time. Just don't put it off for too long, okay?Okay. Peaceful journey my lovely girl, I'll always hope for you only the best. Just remember, you are the only one that can be the pilot of your life.

And with that, I think that I will conclude this installment of 'Desiderium Paternis' and until the next post, which will be within the following several days, I bid you a fond adieu my love. Although..... I do wish to remind you....to please be sure that you treat other people, and other furry critters, with the courtesy and respect that you would like to be treated with. And you have to be getting this by now, yet I still feel compelled to repeat it, so, please, darling one, in all your endeavors throughout your day, when the moment for making a choice arises, be conscious of the choices that you make and be sure, with absolute certainty, to do what you truly believe to be the right thing to do. Skylar, this is of the utmost importance and it totally, entirely matters. Thanks sweetheart. I love you dearly my lovely genetic offspring. :-) May you someday be as happy in your life, as I am when I think of you. God bless, and take good care of the loved ones that you have around you. They are the only true riches of your life. Adieu ma fille, vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours. Vous êtes vraiment, ma légèreté et mon espoir. Dieu, j'aime ma fille !!

Totally And Forever Yours... In Absolute Sincerity,

The Hip Hop Daddy With The G.F.E., Your Forever E.G.F.

Any Day That You Wake Up Breathing.....is a good day...

Hello my beautiful daughter, it is particularly good to be able to post today, as, I had a seriously trippy experience with this site on last Friday. I had returned from my "break" and had posted and just published a new 9-16-05 edition and then, suddenly, for no apparent reason, the entire blog just blanked out and went totally white. To put it most mildly, I totally freaked. Nearly six months of heartfelt effort, wham, gone in a flash of light. Whoa, oly chit.

Well, I tried to get it back on but seeing as how this was a major crisis situation to me(huge excuse), I just couldn't seem to be able to diagnose what the major malfunction seemed to be. I tried approaching the site from several different pathways but no matter what I tried I still ended up with nothing, just an empty white screen. Oh no, I thought, and after I tried a little more, I decided I would leave it alone for an hour or two and then come back to it and try again. When I came back it still didn't work and my heart was on the floor, I felt totally sunk.

I found this idea after months of searching for the right venue to record my thoughts to you and to let you know how I truly feel. You can't imagine how hard it was, after finding this idea and then using it for nearly six months, to just lose it all in one quick sudden flash. I brooded and sulked and cursed and sang my sad little song of requiem for nearly two days, two long depressing days. It was awful, real bad. Then on Sunday, when I called my most esteemed bro' Matt back in Cali(Nor*Cal), I told him what had transpired and he immediately offered to help.

It took Matt about three and a half seconds to figure out that somehow the template got messed up and about the same amount of time to fix it. Elation doesn't begin to describe the emotion I was feeling, and gratitude, total gratitude to God for allowing me to have such totally kick ass friends. Fo' Shizzle Mah Dizzle. And just to think, all that time when the web log was gone I kept thinking that somehow some wannabe big wig authority hoo-hoo had meddled in my biz and stepped themselves way over the line. I was preparing for some major conflict, and I was not prepared to let anyone get away with that.

Oh well, I must admit, there were a couple of really valuable lessons revealed through this experience. One thing I was able to glean from all this, is that anything you put on the web through legal channels is, by internet policy and federal law, extremely difficult to have removed from the web, and, I do believe that the good folks at Google(who operates Blogger) would have sicced their hardball lawyers on whoever tried to mess with my publishing's and they would have showed them, with out any doubts, the way it's gonna be. Prop's out to Google, for sure. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that somehow, between losing the site and getting it back on, we somehow lost all the links that I had compiled for you and while I can put most of them back, I'm not really sure what all I had added within the past couple of weeks. I'll try my best to get them all back on there and I'm sure it will be all good and worthy of mad cool props and such, when I'm done.

Getting back to the lesson learning element, the other important lesson (and by far the most important one) that I learned, well, actually reconfirmed, through this little fright fest was that you should never jump to conclusions before you really know what's going on. For one to live with any level sense of equilibrium in their life, it demands as a prerequisite, the consistent exercise of patience. Patience, indeed, is a very valuable virtue. I think that this is a great lesson for anyone to learn, and the lack of this wisdom is a frequent 'cause of mad amounts of unnecessary worry and various other negative consequences of a much hasher nature. I don't know exactly how to explain how to avoid allowing yourself to fall into that type of situation, obviously, but let me just give it my best little impromtu try anyway.....

Hmmm, lemme see....I would venture to say that just being aware and mindful of the fact, that, until you have tangible evidence that whatever you suspect to be going on, in whatever situation your assumptions may involve, is indeed the truth (i.e. what's actually happening), then you should intentionally withhold any judgment, until such time as you can actually substantiate your suspicions, whatever they may be, to be of fact, or at least more than mere glib conjecture on your own part. There, that's my relatively uneducated attempt at a logical explanation for you. Actually, I think I'm feeling pretty good about that one(yeahyeah!). Smart people so totally rule!!! If you'd like to learn more about having an exceptionally bright nugget, see the good folks at American Mensa, and tell'em your father sent ya. ;-) http://www.us.mensa.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home

Well sweet child of mine, I suppose I'm going to close this one and call it a wrap for today. I hope you enjoy, and at least attempt, to internalize the useful bits I offer in these posts. I think you could truly benefit if you did. Anyway darling, I hope you'll try and keep yourself occupied with positive and constructive things, it's really good for your mind and heart. I love you more than I can put into words Sky, 'cause frankly, they don't even make words that strong and righteous. I'M MISSING YOU TO DEATH OUT HERE !!! Skylar I swear on my heart baby, If I could have just one wish come true throughout the rest of my life, I would only wish to hear your voice and to know that you're alright. I'm sure that some sort of contact has to be coming sweetheart, just give me a little more time and I'll have enough resources to find you and let you know the two most important little words I need you to know right now, google you.

If you're reading this then I would presume that that contact has been made and/or I'm just the luckiest human being on this whole planet. I hope to hear from you soon and I'll keep that in my prayers always. I miss you baby. God bless each and every breath you take. Hey, there's one strong and righteous enough word, God, yeah, and Love too...oh, and Daughter, yeah, Daughter is a magical word. ;-) God I love my Daughter (Dieu, j'aime ma fille !). Sky, without you around me, it's like there's a giant hole in my heart, ya know? Can you feel me on that, Sky? It totally blows, mega-harsh. Sad is bad :-( It tends to totally harsh your mellow, know what I'm sayin,....mah gizzle?(smile). I hope to get that fixed before much longer. It's killing me. I just keep telling myself, there is always hope.

I wonder sometimes if you might be out there wondering about me too, and if sometimes you're looking up at the same stars that I am, maybe even at the very same moment. Sometimes I look up at the moon when it's all big and bright and wonder if you get the same feeling that I do of how beautiful it is, and then I wonder if perhaps you're looking up at it too, right then, at that exact same moment in time. Sometimes I like to imagine that you are. I hope that you are wondering about me from time to time Sky, and I hope that you wish you could see me too. If so, some day you will be very happy to know that that's one wish that can definitely come true. Keep that dream alive if it's there Sky, it's a dream that we both can share the fulfillment of in the future. Well darling, I'd better go for now, soooo.....( drum roll please)....

Please be sure in your daily activity that you recognize the "golden rule" of life and always treat others how you would prefer to be treated. They don't call that the golden rule for nothing. Also, my dear and lovely young lady, please make certain that you are conscious of the choices that you make and always be sure to do what you know is the right thing to do. Are ya gettin hip to this yet? Maybe? A little bit? I'll keep tryin for awhile 'cause this is some way seriously important stuff for you to know, Skizzle( ha!). Hey Sky, try and keep a smile on that pretty face, and don't forget to laugh from time to time, it's fun, and it's good for you! I will post again within the following few days and until that time, take care of yourself and the one's that you love. May peace and love surround you my beautiful gift from heaven. Adieu ma fille, vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir. Vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours.

With Absolute Sincerity, You're Forever E.G.F.

Hi Sweetheart, Back To Posting.....and still missing you...

Hi Skylar, I've been missing the opportunity to write in these posts lately and I'm certainly glad to be back. I hope everything is going well for you in school these days and you should definitely be starting to become better acclimated to things around there by now, I'm sure that should be a welcomed adjustment for you. Wow, that was a pretty big break I took there, and yet, it doesn't seem to have accomplished all that much of anything at all. I don't know exactly what my major problem has been the last few weeks or so, I guess I may have just managed to allow my situation to get to me a bit too much. Anyway, it is good to get reconnected to the only thing remotely close to speaking to you that I have as an outlet these days. I'm always cheered by the thought that someday you may read the heartfelt words that I type into this thing. Then it will be like my thoughts are going from my heart, to your heart. That's a good and soothing thought and beneficial for my overall emotional well being.

I was walking to this place to publish this today and I encountered no less than three separate individuals along the way that sprang forth some sort of vile indignancy at me, and all totally unsolicited by me. I have to tell you, quite honestly, Sky, I really don't buy in to any of this "end times" boloney or any of that apocalyptic nonsense about the biblical Armageddon heading our way. The only way that will ever happen is if it's in the form of some self fulfilling prophecy perpetuated by the ones who choose to believe it yet do nothing to try to help the situation in a tangible way. That said, I do believe that there is definitely something seriously amiss in present day society, and maybe even with the potential to be fatal to our existence, unless we do something about it. What is up with people nowadays? Can it be so easily forgotten that we need each other to get by in this world? Could it all possibly end in a giant screaming cacophony of self lusting "Me, Me, Me's"? I hope not.

Sky, there are so many advertisements and commercial media influences out there that are encouraging a sense of the "it's all about Me" mentality as a good, and even necessary state of mind these days that it sometimes really worries me that you might get caught up in the shear impressionable force of this whole thing. Honey, it's important to me to know that you are well enough adjusted, within yourself, to naturally realize the importance of community in our world and to stay aware of the fact that we are all connected in this massive web of life that we live within. I am of most sincere hopes that you have, by now in your life, become aware of the importance and, indeed, true joy of an honest spirit of sharing and cooperation in your day to day social activities and other personal endeavors while in this world. I wish, without revocation, for you to carry within your heart the wisdom of honest, altruistic social interaction, and a benevolent disposition toward life. The importance of these elements to the very quality and to the attributional and character building essence of good in your life can not be overstated.

Surely, by now you must know that when I speak to you in this way, that there is a particular sense of seriousness to my tone and that these words are especially close and important to my heart. That certainly yields true in this case. My dear daughter, you must love others as you would love yourself and you must find and connect to your innate ability to put others before yourself in order for this planet to survive in any durable state of peace or human harmony. This wisdom comes boldly precluding to, and stands intrepidly, in full light of any and all mainstream cultural or retail corporate marketing claims intent upon impressing you with false thoughts to the opposite of this truth. I hold confidence in your ability to understand and integrate this into yourself and exercise these thoughts until such time as they become working knowledge within you, and until you feel the natural confidence these wisdoms will inspire. You are building you, my dear, at best I can only assist you on that journey. It is within this spirit that I offer you this advice, and with great love, as your father.

Well darling, I don't want to make these too long and as I have a good deal of stuff to get done today, I believe perhaps I should close this one now and get busy on whatever it is that I'm gratefully putting off in order to publish this post. I'm not really for certain what I have to accomplish for today but I have a fairly large list that I have prepared to help me be a bit better organized and I'm almost afraid to even look at it, almost. Anyway, into the day I go, and I will be posting again within the next few days or so, God willing, of course. As I don't anticipate getting run over by any speeding buses or whatnot, I'll be looking forward to posting again real soon. :-)

Skylar, I can't tell you enough how hard it is for me to not know where you are or even that you're safe and doing alright. I pray on a daily basis that contact with you will finally be achieved, but as of yet, to no avail. I will keep trying to reach you for as long as it takes, and I carry you in my heart throughout every day and night. I hope that you will keep yourself occupied with positive and challenging things. I wish you only the best, as always, and may God bless you're every breath. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS. Please be sure to treat people right, you know, how you would prefer to be treated, and, always make sure that you are conscious of the choices that you make and be mindful of making choices that reflect your ability to know what's right. I love you and I miss you, my darling lovely girl. Je t'aime chèrement mon beau Ciel. Vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir.

Sincerely and Forever Yours, Your Forever E.G.F.

On A Short Medical Leave....back in a flash(I love you)....

Hi Skylar, in case you didn't notice, I've corrected the title to reflect a more accurate Latin spelling, so now it's paternis instead of paternus. I understand, that the former spelling would refer to things in a very vague sort of way. The corrected spelling makes it two nouns, longing and father, so it's more particular in it's reference to an individual father, which is Me(yesss!). Anyway, I believe that this is more accurate so I changed it. The man who pointed that discrepancy out to me has a masters from the University of California at Berkeley so hopefully it's correct now. The same man who corrected my Latin also told me how to properly pronounce the words as well, so I wrote it in a phonetic way for you, you know, just how it sounds. Try this, it sounds like; Day zee dare ee oom (like boom) Pah tare niece. Latin's totally cool. :-)

Are you keeping yourself busy with constructive and/or challenging things? I hope so, you'll want to keep that awesome brain of yours in tip top shape ya know. Someday you might actually need that thing. I wish I could help you with your school work, that would be a fun thing, for me anyway. I hope that school is going well and that you are starting to settle in so you can get down to business. I wanted to post today because I'm going to be taking a short break from publishing this web log(blog!). I have been coming under a bit more stress, as far as being able to manage my time well, and with all the doctors visits and physical therapy and counseling, etc., everything's just beginning to get a bit out of hand lately.

I was having a bit of trouble finding the creative energies to put this thing out, so, I figured maybe I just needed to take a few days away from this and try to focus a bit more on my medical situation right now. Not to worry though, I'll only be taking a short breather and then I'll be picking up right where I left off. The cool thing about this decision is that, since you probably haven't even found this thing yet, when I come back on with new posts in a week or so, it'll probably be impossible to tell that there was even an interruption at all since the only indicator will be the date at the top of the pages.

Anyway, for future reference, when you actually do find this web log(blog!), I just wanted to let you know why there is a larger than usual space between this post and the next. I hope to have some serious time for this in the future and to be able to post every day, yeah, that would be a really killer plan. The posts would probably be a little shorter if I do it that way but I think it would be pretty cool if I could, say, get up and post a morning portion, and wish you a great day, and then finish it each night with a brief synopsis of how the day went or something. I'm still thinking about that video posting idea I had and, before very long, I will at least be integrating sound bytes into the posts, so that should be somewhat nifty, at least.

Well beautiful one, I guess I'm going to be getting to my next appointment now, so I will be thinking about ya and there will be new posts coming up within the next week at the most. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART SKY !!! Please take good care of yourself and look out for the ones you love sweetie. I know you've probably heard this plenty of times by now, assuming that you've read this from the beginning, but, I think I'll retain the ability to say when you've had enough of this one, soooo...... Please be sure that you treat people the way that you yourself would prefer to be treated by other people, and, please, for the love of all that is sacred(whoa), please make sure that you are conscious of the choices that you make, and be sure that you make choices that involve what you would know to be the right thing for you to do. Thank you Skylar, because this truly does totally matter. I'll post again soon and I'll be hoping and praying that, some time very soon, some sort of contact with you will finally be achieved. I love you Sky.......

Most Truly and Forever Yours, You're Forever E.G.F.

The Only Thing We Have To Fear.....is fear itself...

Hi Sky, I hope everything is going reasonably smoothly in your life at the present. Make sure to keep your mind stimulated and extend yourself to some challenges too, ok? Ok, thanks sweetie. Well, I'm going for an epidural steroid shot on the 8th but the doctors said that since I'm holding such high pain levels for so long, and at such a young age, that I shouldn't really get too overwhelmed with joy just yet, but hopefully I will get at least some kind of benefit from this procedure. It's too long of a needle not to have some kind of positive benefit, and I have to be awake too, yowsie. We'll just hope that goes real well and I'll let ya know how all that works out.

Anyway, the subject I had in mind for today is about, probably, one the most important personal assets any person could ever have in their arsenal of tools for personal effectiveness and achievement in life. That may sound a little grandiose, but believe me, I kid you not. What, you may ask, is this super killer, end all, be all of personal character qualities? That amazing character attribute, is what we humans refer to as Courage. As I've said before, courage is like a symbiotic partner to honesty in that they are constantly looking out for one another. Sometimes It takes courage to be honest and when you're honest it tends to give you a better sense of courage. Honesty is about the only quality that can even come close to courage in importance and personal worth.

First of all, here's the literal definition of courage http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=courage . Yes, courage is necessary in almost every part of our lives, to some degree or another, and without it we probably couldn't even get out of bed in the morning, or leave our homes and take a simple walk down the street. Mind you, in some areas of this country, I wouldn't even suggest that you do take a walk down the street, even in the daytime, but if you absolutely had to do it, the ultimate personal commodity that would best help to get it done, would be a proverbial truck load of good old fashioned courage. Indeed, anytime anything significant has ever taken place or gotten done on this planet, there has always been a good supply of courage driving it's success. It is in the spirit of true raw courage that today's topic will be; Courage, why ya need it, and how to get it. Note the title to this post, Franklin D. Roosevelt, our 32nd U.S. President, spoke those words in his first inaugural address at the U.S. Capitol in Washington D.C., way back on March 4th, 1933. Few other famous quotes or statements throughout the whole of human history have ever rang so true, or been so undeniably important.

The thing I like most about President Roosevelts famous line is that, not only did it take this man a heaping load of courage to stand up there and say that to the entire world, but simply the fact that this statement represents a completely timeless truth. Courage is every bit as essential to our survival in the post dot com era, as it most definitely was back when Grog, the hairy caveman, was hunting giant mammoth out on the prehistoric tundra with his totally courageous hairy caveman bro's. Courage is a very important element in building and maintaining the relationships we have with people, and for the ability to resolve conflict when it arises. Practicing personal courage is necessary if you want to really resolve conflicts at school or work. It is much easier and much safer to ignore the necessary conflict and play ostrich(see-opposite of courage). Unfortunately, unresolved conflict tends to escalate, and can eventually turn in to trouble.

You can build your personal courage by daily standing up for and acting upon the things that you know are honorable. Here is an excellent article for you to read more about what courage is all about and how to build and reinforce a solid sense of courage in your life http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/courage-to-live-consciously.htm . I really like what this person has to say about courage, and a lot of other important things as well and I probably should have included his site in your links section of this web log (blog!), in fact, I just did, now you have thirty! Looking back, just on my life alone, it is easy for me to immediately pick out several instances where having courage has helped secure and mold my life for the positive. It is also just as easy, admittedly with some regret, to pickout, at least several instances where a lacking or weakness in my personal courage has caused harm to my life and to my personal confidence that I can still feel some resonance of to this day. It is through the mistakes from my past that I have learned the true relativity of being totally honest, and of having to have courage to be able to do it.

Believe me Skylar, it pays to have courage, in ways that are of tremendous importance to the very success you will feel in your life. It's without doubt a totally well spent effort to take the journey in learning how to gain courage within yourself and utilize it for the betterment of your life. This is a topic that I can't stress the importance of enough, and the fact of how much it is of immense personal value to you. Learn to build and reinforce you're sense of courage, Sky, and it will pay you sweetly throughout the entirety of your life. Keep in mind while engaging on this quest, that true courage comes from deep within you and is based on a living sense of honesty and confidence in yourself. Sometimes when attempting to improve our abilities to empower our lives, we can make the mistake of forgetting to start with what we already have inside, and to look in there and truely see yourself as you honestly are can be a pretty daunting thing to accomplish, but it just takes a little courage.

Good luck with this acquisition, and you should remember, that if you just have a little faith in yourself you can do just about anything you put your beautiful mind to. Courage invites challenge and when you engage yourself in a challenge with a sense of courage in your heart, you can push yourself to the limits and experience wonders you've never imagined. Life is good my dear lovely daughter, that is for sure, you just have to have the courage to truly live it. I love you very very much my darling young lady and I nearly cry at the thought of being without you for even a single nother day. I guess I'll have to muster my own sense of courage and just be patient enough to make it until some form of contact can finally be achieved. I long for you in my heart Sky, I'm constantly hoping and praying that you're alright and that you'll know how to navigate this crazy maze of life without me. I want you to be alright, on the inside and out. If you come across this web log and you ever feel any hint of an urge to contact me, please feel confident in your knowledge that I will always be open and joyful and excepting of your contact. And now...the big closing "brainwash" treatment of life skill learning that I've chosen to include in every post for the last who knows how long, but hopefully long enough for you to get it..........

Sky, please be sure to always try and treat people with the honest courtesy and sense of respect that you would prefer for people to treat you with when they are interacting with you....and don't forget this dandy nugget of wise and useful knowledge.........please, always be conscious of the choices that you make throughout your day and make sure that you make sure to do what you know to be right and just in whatever the situation may be....yes, and this part is very very true....because it really, totally matters. Thanks Sky, I trust you'll always try and be the best person you can really be, I just need to remind you of these important things to help you learn them and to make them become second nature to you. Be good my dear and keep yourself busy with positive and constructive things. I'll post again soon. Until then, Soyez bon ma belle fille. Je t'aime chèrement mon beau Ciel. Adieu ma fille. ;-)

Sincerely Yours Forever, You're Forever E.G.F.

What This Blog Is About.......and how to use it...

Hi Sky, I hope this finds you doing well and keeping yourself, mind and body, in healthy shape. I was just looking at some news coverage of the New Orleans catastrophe down on the gulf coast. Wow, these folks need a lot of help right now, we should all be thinking of how we can lend a hand or help in any way during a crisis like this. If you can't help physically or financially then at least keep these unfortunate people in our prayers. If you don't know how to pray or who/what to pray to, then this would be a good time to find out, and pray that these people will be alright and that the good Pre$ident Bu$h doesn't spend all of our safety dough trying to look like a responsible doofus. I guess a responsible doofus is better than an irresponsible doofus, but I don't think the two cancel each other out, so, anyway, once a doofus always a doofus, I suppose.

So, on a much brighter note, how is school going so far? I hope that you are starting to acclimate yourself and maybe even getting to meet a few respectably cool individuals that you could hang with and stuff. I remember back(way back? youch!) when I was first starting high school. Some seniors tried selling me a pool pass to the pool up on the third floor, but I said "Yeah, right suckerz !! There is no third floor in this building, senior jackasses!" and then they chased me several blocks screaming expletives, something about ripping appendages and my mama. Ha! Ah, the good 'ole glory days of high school. I would imagine in a lot of ways, it's much better nowadays. To get a decent Idea of what it was like back in my day, you can see a movie called 'Dazed and Confused', yep, I was at the last part of that era, then, thankfully, they outlawed that type of hazing on a permanent basis, before things got way way wayyy out of hand.

Well, as the title on this here little vessel implies, today we're gonna talk about this web log(blog!), and what it's for, and how to take it, and what it means, and bla bla bla bla bla, and whatever else I could possibly think up to say about the nature, capabilities, or intent of this blog(blog!) and the many heartfelt postings that lie within its ultra, ultra fun and informative columns. Obviously this will be ever helped along, in it's natural progression, by my infinite wit(yyyesssss!) and the absolutely, ridiculously goofy mood that, at this very moment, I find myself presently to be in. Now then, get ready, strap yourself in, 'cause girl are we ever going to have a par-tay!

Naw, just kiddin', I am in a pretty crazy mood right now though, so, who knows, I may just squeeze in a few extra, punctuation marks, or something, whoo, the true king of excitement forever reigns supreme. On a more semi-serious note though, I want to address some concerns I, you, or any number of family counselors that may possibly know about this site, were probably wondering about. First of all, NO, besides the stupid pharmies that the doctors keep trying to give me, which I hate to take, NO I am absolutely NOT taking drugs. I can not use that as my excuse. Secondly, in addressing any concerns said counselors may have about this web log(blog!), No, I would never do or say anything to my daughter that I didn't feel she was responsibly ready for, and that I didn't, with absolute certainty, feel that she deserved to, or was otherwise necessary for her to, know. But thank you, for your concern.

The primary reason and 100% initial intent of this web log (blog!), was, and still is, to reach you with the opening salvo located at the top of this page. After that, it's all just gravy. ;-) The post content that has followed that initial, and ultimately important, message, has just been a sort of open forum from which I can dictate my thoughts, feelings , and several of the key elemental bits of wisdom that I felt I could effectively express to you, my one and only and very much beloved child. The material contained herein is intended to be read and enjoyed primarily by, and for the sole use and discernment of, my one true child, Miss Skylar L'nea Wheatley, a.k.a. You baby! ( :-c Oui Oui mon beauté !!)

One significant reason for me to address this subject, in it's own post, is to explain a few of the finer details not already alluded to in any earlier explanation of this web log(blog!). First and foremost in my mind would probably be the fact that almost none of the things I say to you in any of these posts could reasonably be held as the undeniable absolutely unyielding total truth, with the exception of the emotions I express towards you, those are quite factual. Mostly, these posts are filled will mere observations and personal accounts I've mentally recorded over the years. I'm not, nor do I ever preclude to be, the know it all, man on the mountain, father of all wisdom, and overall yielder of infallible truths. I am, my dear girl, simply an adoring father, eager to represent my little girl with the most useful, and reliable information that I can muster up the ability to offer her. When possible, I research the things that I don't hold a strong enough working knowledge of to offer you the truest and most sound information or advice that I could possibly offer you. It is quite truly a labor of my love for you, and I am most proud to have the opportunity to provide it for you.

On a serious note, let me clarify some things openly for you at this time. Always I shall intend to encourage within you an overall sense of your ability, and, indeed, the imperativeness of your personal willingness, to engage free thought and to use your innate skills to logically discern whatever information is before you, without prejudice or bias to cloud your good judgment. It is precisely within this same spirit that I urge you must never allow yourself to come, in any way, to perceive me as any sort of oracle of all knowledge or some significant word bearer of the laws of life, not that I think you do. I'm just a simple man sweetie, full of life perhaps, but subject to all the uninitiated challenges, indignations, and personal iniquities that surely have plagued any other man throughout the whole of history. The important separator determinative of any man's character is not what qualities, talents, or wisdom a man may possess, but indeed how, and, in fact, to what extent, that man chooses to use these talents and intelligent gatherings to the advantage of himself, and to the collaborative advantage of the interconnected world around him. In this sense, I can only strive to get stronger and to contribute to the best of my god given abilities. Just remember that, in each new day, I don't view myself as infallible or a know it all, in any way, and it's important that you don't either. Thank you sweetheart, this is very important.

Now, on a less serious note, I was going to talk a little bit about my writing style. Hmmmm, as far as my writing style goes, well, I'm not exactly sure if I'd ever be able to explain that one to you, but of course, I'm willing to give it a try. As far as I could say, it's some sort of eclectic mix of modern American English interlaced with some distinctly Old English(from England) words and sweetened up, a bit sparingly, with some pop cultural slang epithets, then sprinkle a few country hickisms and "personal slangish nonwords" for good measure, bake at 420 degrees for six minutes and there ya have my writing style. "Personal slangish nonwords" is a name that I just made up, about three seconds ago, to describe words like ya, gonna, wanna, gotta, etc. and anything that ends in 'em, like, get'em, find'em and eat'em.....which reminds me, I'm gettin kinda hungry, I think I'm gonna get something to eat after I publish this. Hmmm, 'atsa good idear, I lahk it, I lahk it alaht. :-)

I spoke to a gentleman just a couple of days ago who has a masters in comparative literature, and he commented that many of my sentences have a distinct 19th century victorian likeness to them. Hmmmmm, as I am, at this point, totally unlearned in any sort of writing or grammerical skills, I couldn't begin to explain this simularity at all. Perhaps I'm a reincarnate of some much cooler dude from two hundred years ago, I don't know. If that is the case though, I'm almost certain I would have put back some major funds for the future, now if I can just figure out where I put'em, freedom will be mine! Ours!! Yeah, Yahoo! And now....back to reality.

The main point that I wanted to get across in this post, Sky, is that this web log(blog!) is a totally unpredictable spontaneous thought forum composed of a random mix of facts, emotions, and my subjective take on the aspects of life that I feel that I have acquired some wisdom in. I've intentionally left some aspects of my posts to your personal discovery, like various references and the French words, in hopes that some free and creative thought may be inspired. All necessary tools are included in the link section of this web log....(blog!). I don't propose to think for you Sky. I only intend to think openly to you, so that you may see me, and, if fortunate enough, someday along with you, as well.

While I do attempt, to some degree, to achieve a reasonable balance between being clear in my explanation, and best getting my point across in the shortest space possible, my attempts to articulate my thoughts and statements herein should be understood as just that, my mere mortal attempts. While I do try to condense my thoughts to a reasonable size for these posts, keep in mind that sometimes there may be, and usually is, a substantial bit more to say about a topic or subject and if I were to entertain the same points in a live discussion forum(to my hearts delight, no doubt), I could and would certainly expound on whatever thing we were talking about at the time. There is always more information to cover on virtually every point I present to you and the form this information takes on this web log is only limited by space limitations and reasonable restraint.

In frankness, I must say that with my current stress levels at such blaringly unusual elevations, it tends to become a significantly difficult factor. I am grateful for the ability to even produce these posts to any reasonable standard of overall quality as it is. I can only look forward to making them better with time. Overall, I guess this web log is, well, it just is what it is, and it's a gift for me to be able to create it for you. In it's varied combination of objective and subjective thought, it is my hope that you will be able to find some wisdom, some piece of mind, and possibly even some humor as well. Well darling, I'm glad I was able to post today and I hope that this is at least useful in some way. I will post again soon.......about what, we'll just have to wait and see.

Untill then....you hopefully know what's coming next by now....please be sure of two very important things. Can you think of what they are? Please 1. Always be sure to treat people with the courtesy and respect that you would prefer to be treated with, and, 2. Sky, please be mindful of your actions and be conscious of doing what you can sense and feel to honestly be the right thing to do, because I promise you Skylar, it really totally does matter. Then again, you already knew that, didn't you? ;-) I love you my sweet daughter and I'm still waiting in patient hope that someday very soon I can assure that contact with you shall be achieved. May peace and love surround you sweetheart. All my love to you....... Vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir. Soyez bon ma belle fille.

Avec La Sincérité Totale , Votre Pour Toujours E.G.F..