A Great Update !!!!!!! Still Loving you.......Still missing you....

Hi sweetheart! I wanted to get this thing going regularly again, but have firmly decided that what I am doing with college and the pursuit of a more solid future(or present, for that matter), since it draws from the same creative energy pool as this blog, is at present a considerable bit more important to me, and way more effective in bringing about some truly tangible and positive change. That said, I wanted to post this brief entry for two important reasons. One reason is to let you know that I am still out here, hurting and missing you, and that I love you with every ounce of life in my being. The other reason is to update you on what positive things I've been accomplishing lately, in my pursuit of a better life. That would, by the way, constitute a life that decidedly had you very much in it. Anyway, here's where I'm at so far, in my big gnarly "quest for survival".

Well, I'm still in college, getting retrained, and as a sophomore college student I have maintained just below a 3.8 grade point average. Just in case you don't understand what a GPA is just yet, a 3.8 is not too shabby at all. In fact, to many folks, that would be considered doing really really great!! I would have retained a perfect 4.0, but I failed miserably on two math classes, and got stuck with a B in both of them. Damn! Oh well, life continues, and I'm not going to let that get me down, or , at least I'm not going to let that put a halt to my efforts of achieving a college degree. As far as I'm aware, I think they still award degrees to people that have two B's on there transcript. Besides, there's lots of positive stuff to effectively counter balance the negatives. For one, I'm still here, and breathing, and not incarcerated, so those are three extremely basic qualities that I NEVER take for granted, and feel a strong sense of gratitude for, everyday.

But there's more, and it's more immediately visible too. I was maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA for quite a while, and during the course of my first few semesters, I had spoken with several different people, of professional stature, that all similarly stated to me that when it came to hiring individuals for an employment position, they would literally pass up the people with a 4.0 in the event that they didn't have any extra-curricular activities to demonstrate a sense of social skills, and an ability to interact effectively with other people. Well, I didn't have any of those credentials thus far, and since this was my life equivalent to that final rocket shot at the end of the original Star Wars movie(Did you see that?), in other words, a long shot do it or die last chance at life, I knew that getting involved in a positive, productive way was a virtual imperative to my chance of overall success in my current life pursuits. Enter the new, highly involved me.

I am happy to be able to announce to you that, within the last several months, I have....became an Ambassador of the college(which is a tour guide), volunteer monitored a help lab for underprivileged students(like me!), gained a position helping in the International Education Office(which helps pay tuition), became a senator in the student government association, became a primary coordinator for SAFE(the Student Association For the Environment), got elected to, and still hold, two officer positions in the Phi Theta Kappa honor society(and also elected the President of PTK for next year!), and campaigned for and was elected to be seated as the Student Representative to the Board of Trustees, which means that I am the officially recognized liaison between the entire 13,000+ student body, and the Board of Trustees(which is a very big deal), and all the while am still maintaining a diligent pursuit of my education through a rigorous load of classes!!!! Be proud of me Sky, right now I truly believe that I could live up to that honor. Oh yeah, and I've also been nominated to the National Deans List, which would include my picture, and your name listed as my daughter!

I just wanted to fill you in on what's been going down lately, Skylar Wheatley(MYSKY!), and to assure you that not only have I not forgotten about you(FAR from it!), and have NOT given up on this forum in my attempts to communicate with you, but that I am indeed giving this effort my all, and in fact, all with the constant vision of you in my heart. So know this, Skylar, I will never give up on this blog and could never ever even remotely begin to forget about you or let you slip from my heart, for indeed, darling, you are the very heart that I feel and know and live with every day. You are my whole heart, Sky. And you forever will be. Don't forget that sweetie, I love you more than life itself, and I miss you beyond anyone's ability to express in words.

I know it's been a long time since I've posted here, but you should know that I've always been deeply entrenched in fighting for a chance to someday see you with my own eyes, and hear the beautiful song of your voice, and I will continue to fight to this end, because quite frankly my love, I'm fighting for my very heart. In a strange twist to this whole situation I'm in, that's the only thing that's strong enough to push me through this fight. And without my heart, what good could I be to any one in the first place? I have not uttered these profound words to you in some time now, but do to the Aristotelian nature of their truth, they ring as sound today as they ever have, or ever, and always, will. I love you dearly Skylar, and I want you to always know, without any doubt, that I will be here for you, if, and when, you ever decide that you need me, my emotional support, or guidance through anything, and at anytime in your life.

You can do anything you truly put your mind to, Skylar, you just have to be willing to do the work, and most importantly of all, take that first important step. Just always try your best, and that takes a certain willingness and acceptance of your weaknesses and personal faults. So keep the faith, babe, cause things truly can and will change for the better, if you will both commit to making them, and decide to let them.

I Love You So Much, Sky, and please do not hesitate to contact me if ever even the slightest inclination should occur to you. I need to hear from you with all my heart, Skylar, and I'm missing you to the point of sickness. Please send an email, and tell me that you're there, and that you're truly, really, doing alright. My heart cries out for you, wherever you are. Take care of yourself, darling daughter, and look out for the family that you do have around you, for they are truly beyond a priceless treasure to your heart, realize it or not. I'll post again here as soon as I can. I Love you, Sky, and I pray that peace and love may surround you, and keep you safe and healthy. Try you're best to stay positive, beautiful one, and I hope to hear from you soon. Adieu ma fille, vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir.

ALL Of My Heart Is Yours,
Your Eternally Loving Father