Any Day That You Wake Up Breathing.....is a good day...

Hello my beautiful daughter, it is particularly good to be able to post today, as, I had a seriously trippy experience with this site on last Friday. I had returned from my "break" and had posted and just published a new 9-16-05 edition and then, suddenly, for no apparent reason, the entire blog just blanked out and went totally white. To put it most mildly, I totally freaked. Nearly six months of heartfelt effort, wham, gone in a flash of light. Whoa, oly chit.

Well, I tried to get it back on but seeing as how this was a major crisis situation to me(huge excuse), I just couldn't seem to be able to diagnose what the major malfunction seemed to be. I tried approaching the site from several different pathways but no matter what I tried I still ended up with nothing, just an empty white screen. Oh no, I thought, and after I tried a little more, I decided I would leave it alone for an hour or two and then come back to it and try again. When I came back it still didn't work and my heart was on the floor, I felt totally sunk.

I found this idea after months of searching for the right venue to record my thoughts to you and to let you know how I truly feel. You can't imagine how hard it was, after finding this idea and then using it for nearly six months, to just lose it all in one quick sudden flash. I brooded and sulked and cursed and sang my sad little song of requiem for nearly two days, two long depressing days. It was awful, real bad. Then on Sunday, when I called my most esteemed bro' Matt back in Cali(Nor*Cal), I told him what had transpired and he immediately offered to help.

It took Matt about three and a half seconds to figure out that somehow the template got messed up and about the same amount of time to fix it. Elation doesn't begin to describe the emotion I was feeling, and gratitude, total gratitude to God for allowing me to have such totally kick ass friends. Fo' Shizzle Mah Dizzle. And just to think, all that time when the web log was gone I kept thinking that somehow some wannabe big wig authority hoo-hoo had meddled in my biz and stepped themselves way over the line. I was preparing for some major conflict, and I was not prepared to let anyone get away with that.

Oh well, I must admit, there were a couple of really valuable lessons revealed through this experience. One thing I was able to glean from all this, is that anything you put on the web through legal channels is, by internet policy and federal law, extremely difficult to have removed from the web, and, I do believe that the good folks at Google(who operates Blogger) would have sicced their hardball lawyers on whoever tried to mess with my publishing's and they would have showed them, with out any doubts, the way it's gonna be. Prop's out to Google, for sure. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that somehow, between losing the site and getting it back on, we somehow lost all the links that I had compiled for you and while I can put most of them back, I'm not really sure what all I had added within the past couple of weeks. I'll try my best to get them all back on there and I'm sure it will be all good and worthy of mad cool props and such, when I'm done.

Getting back to the lesson learning element, the other important lesson (and by far the most important one) that I learned, well, actually reconfirmed, through this little fright fest was that you should never jump to conclusions before you really know what's going on. For one to live with any level sense of equilibrium in their life, it demands as a prerequisite, the consistent exercise of patience. Patience, indeed, is a very valuable virtue. I think that this is a great lesson for anyone to learn, and the lack of this wisdom is a frequent 'cause of mad amounts of unnecessary worry and various other negative consequences of a much hasher nature. I don't know exactly how to explain how to avoid allowing yourself to fall into that type of situation, obviously, but let me just give it my best little impromtu try anyway.....

Hmmm, lemme see....I would venture to say that just being aware and mindful of the fact, that, until you have tangible evidence that whatever you suspect to be going on, in whatever situation your assumptions may involve, is indeed the truth (i.e. what's actually happening), then you should intentionally withhold any judgment, until such time as you can actually substantiate your suspicions, whatever they may be, to be of fact, or at least more than mere glib conjecture on your own part. There, that's my relatively uneducated attempt at a logical explanation for you. Actually, I think I'm feeling pretty good about that one(yeahyeah!). Smart people so totally rule!!! If you'd like to learn more about having an exceptionally bright nugget, see the good folks at American Mensa, and tell'em your father sent ya. ;-) http://www.us.mensa.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home

Well sweet child of mine, I suppose I'm going to close this one and call it a wrap for today. I hope you enjoy, and at least attempt, to internalize the useful bits I offer in these posts. I think you could truly benefit if you did. Anyway darling, I hope you'll try and keep yourself occupied with positive and constructive things, it's really good for your mind and heart. I love you more than I can put into words Sky, 'cause frankly, they don't even make words that strong and righteous. I'M MISSING YOU TO DEATH OUT HERE !!! Skylar I swear on my heart baby, If I could have just one wish come true throughout the rest of my life, I would only wish to hear your voice and to know that you're alright. I'm sure that some sort of contact has to be coming sweetheart, just give me a little more time and I'll have enough resources to find you and let you know the two most important little words I need you to know right now, google you.

If you're reading this then I would presume that that contact has been made and/or I'm just the luckiest human being on this whole planet. I hope to hear from you soon and I'll keep that in my prayers always. I miss you baby. God bless each and every breath you take. Hey, there's one strong and righteous enough word, God, yeah, and Love too...oh, and Daughter, yeah, Daughter is a magical word. ;-) God I love my Daughter (Dieu, j'aime ma fille !). Sky, without you around me, it's like there's a giant hole in my heart, ya know? Can you feel me on that, Sky? It totally blows, mega-harsh. Sad is bad :-( It tends to totally harsh your mellow, know what I'm sayin,....mah gizzle?(smile). I hope to get that fixed before much longer. It's killing me. I just keep telling myself, there is always hope.

I wonder sometimes if you might be out there wondering about me too, and if sometimes you're looking up at the same stars that I am, maybe even at the very same moment. Sometimes I look up at the moon when it's all big and bright and wonder if you get the same feeling that I do of how beautiful it is, and then I wonder if perhaps you're looking up at it too, right then, at that exact same moment in time. Sometimes I like to imagine that you are. I hope that you are wondering about me from time to time Sky, and I hope that you wish you could see me too. If so, some day you will be very happy to know that that's one wish that can definitely come true. Keep that dream alive if it's there Sky, it's a dream that we both can share the fulfillment of in the future. Well darling, I'd better go for now, soooo.....( drum roll please)....

Please be sure in your daily activity that you recognize the "golden rule" of life and always treat others how you would prefer to be treated. They don't call that the golden rule for nothing. Also, my dear and lovely young lady, please make certain that you are conscious of the choices that you make and always be sure to do what you know is the right thing to do. Are ya gettin hip to this yet? Maybe? A little bit? I'll keep tryin for awhile 'cause this is some way seriously important stuff for you to know, Skizzle( ha!). Hey Sky, try and keep a smile on that pretty face, and don't forget to laugh from time to time, it's fun, and it's good for you! I will post again within the following few days and until that time, take care of yourself and the one's that you love. May peace and love surround you my beautiful gift from heaven. Adieu ma fille, vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir. Vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours.

With Absolute Sincerity, You're Forever E.G.F.