Random (dad)Thoughts #4

Things that I'm in to- Although I don't really have much time for hobbies or personal interests at the time being, other than publishing this web log(blog!), which I thoroughly enjoy(it's one of my favorite things to do!!) ;-) , when I do have the time, these are some of the ways I would prefer to spend my time. I love Music (almost all kinds), Dogs, I Love Cycling(bikes, of all types), Movies, Herpetology, Horticulture(105x4), Computers, Taking nature walks, Hiking, Camping, Going to the Beach (that's a favorite, and take the dog's too!) , and most of all I Love my Beautiful Daughter Skylar Wheatley (who I barely even know right now :-( , which, by the way, is a major bummer, but also which, by the way, I'm currently working on.) I love you Sky.


Things you(or anybody) should DEFINITELY do in your life-
Respect your elders- I've already talked about the importance of acknowledging and respecting our elders as being worthy of tremendous value to us. I think you pretty much get the point, Sky. Let me just continue a bit by including this clarifying point. Just as those senior to us are still just normal human beings like the rest of us, albeit, with a lot more time on this planet, the wisdom and quality of advice we can inherit from them is only limited by the amount of experience acquired by each individual elder and the extent to which that individual took observation of the things going on around him or her. In other words, being an elder, or "senior" to us, is not necessarily a guarantee that a person will have all that much useful advice or opinion to offer to hand down to us.

I'm just saying that a wise elder could surely offer, with their longevity considered, a broader scope of opinion than, say, a much younger counterpart speaking on the same subject matter. Where as, an ignorant person who's just sat in a chair all their life and never really thought about anything, did anything, or paid much attention to anything, is obviously not going to be this awesome wellspring of wisdom just because they're advanced in age. In fact, in that case they're actually more likely to be harder to comprehend, being subdued by the throes of depression or loneliness, or waning in their sensibilities. By the way, these are living, feeling, human beings also, so be kind to them because they need our love too, even more so. Actually, in that case, they would be a great testament to exactly why we should seize our opportunity to approach our lives with all the energy and zeal we can muster in an effort to get the most we can out of life. See, even these elders can teach us some positive and extremely valuable lessons! :-) ( Good Golly! Elderly People Rock!!) NO LIE


Loyalty- http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=loyal This is a Queen of virtues. I can't stress enough the personal value in holding great personal importance to having an honest sense of loyalty in your heart. Loyalty, by definition, is having an unswerving allegiance, in complete faithfulness to one's lawful sovereign or government, to a private person to whom fidelity is due, or to a cause, ideal, or custom. I would advise you in total solemness to practice this in your life as one of the most character sustaining qualities(virtues) you could ever incorporate in to yourself. Sky, among personal qualities, or, reinforced natural attributes, as I like to think of them, loyalty ranks right around the top of the list. Among the currencies of ones character, this one would be considered "pure platinum"(that's better than golden), sweetheart, and it stands right up there next to integrity.


Integrity- Integrity means being unimpaired in soundness. It is incorruptibility, a firm adherence to a code of moral or artistic values. http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=integrity&amp . In lay terms, for purposes of what I'm trying to explain to you, integrity means doing what you say, holding true to your word, being steeled with an ultimate level of dependability. Let me give you an example, let's say a friend tells you she has some furniture to move in to her apartment next Saturday and asks if you would help with that, and you agree to help her. When Saturday comes around, even if you don't feel like helping her or something more fun just came up, having integrity means that you will be there to help your friend like you said you would.

This is a "pure platinum" character sustaining personal quality as well. In fact, loyalty ties directly in with integrity, like twins, and, in my personal opinion, if you have a high level of both of these qualities, it could be said that you are definitely, at least, somewhat, righteous ;-) (in character). I would choose someone to manage an important task for me, in high confidence, if they had these two qualities going for them. Remember, choose integrity over popularity and you'll always be cool. I first heard that from a very talented guitarist named Carlos Santana, he's a great person in real life and in this instance I believe he's offering some dead on accurate advice.


Never Be A Quitter- This actually ties in with having loyalty and integrity as well and it's largely self explanatory. It's important not to give up when you're trying to accomplish something. I'd always be one to encourage you to stick things out when the going gets a little, or a lot, more difficult, but what I want to focus more on now is learning to be a good finisher. The absolute most important step in achieving any goal or fulfilling any desire or generally getting anything done that you want to accomplish is, with out any doubt, taking the first step (beginning). You have to begin before you can get finished, right? Right. Well, an almost equally as important step essential to completing any endeavor or fulfilling any goal, with any sense of completeness at all, is to put the final cap on things by making sure you have properly finished.

If you partake in any activity with objectivity and a target result in sight, then that activity is not finished, that target result you were aiming for has not been fully achieved, untill all the loose ends have been tied up and the activity is truly completed. When you accept a challenge, or take on an effort to reach any goal, that initial vision should include not only your plan of attack, but all details required to complete a proper finish as well. It's ultimately important to anything you do, almost as important as getting started. (Teach Yourself To Become A Good Finisher) ;-)


Honesty- Simply put, this is probably the #1 quality for any individual to ever hope for, strive toward, and insist upon integrating in to their list of personal character attributes. Honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. Honesty is such an imperative as a quality we desire in others, and a personal character attribute, that no other facet of one's character can be held as it's equal in importance. If loyalty and integrity are to be considered as platinum, then honesty would be comparable as an infinite carat pure and flawless diamond. This is the king of all, the grand prize of personal attributes. If you are honest you will be much better received and respected by others. If you are truly committed to honesty, if that committment has integrity, then your life will automatically be cleared of the majority of the trouble that you would have gotten yourself in to, had you not been an honest person, and thus, the consequences you would have had to endure as a result.

Honesty is a priceless commodity among human beings, with it your life is virtually guaranteed to be a whole lot easier. Honesty frees your mind and emotions to take a more relaxed look at life and consequently affords you the innate ability to freely experience life on a more unencumbered and fearless level. Honesty is just such a huge and important topic that I could not possibly say enough about it in this post alone, so, this topic will undoubtedly be reapproched many times in future posts. Honesty is living, speaking, and behaving in truth, and truth is, in it's very essence, as close as we'll ever get to what we would think of as being actual reality. You can not be truly "real" if you do not live in truth, if you do not committ yourself to total honesty you can never be completly real as a person. I love you Sky, you should too, exercise honesty throughout every aspect of your life, even down to the finest detail, sweetie, that's probably the finest piece of advice I could ever give you. Honesty's closest friend is courage, they're like symbiotic buddies, forever looking out for each other.


Walk- With the world moving faster and faster around us it seems that everyone is looking for the next slick way to get from one place to another in the shortest time humanly possible. In this hectic melee of bodies rushing and vehicles of every type zooming from place to place, it seems as though more and more people are forgetting about the most natural and health inspiring mode of transport ever concieved, simply going for a walk. Walking is healthful and therapeutic and some anthropologists even contend that it may be a necessary part of normal human function. We're actually designed to walk, as our primary mode of getting around, even our brain is wired that way. If you don't walk at least several blocks a day, I would strongly encourage you to give it a try. Sometimes when you are going to go somewhere that's within walking distance, and you had planned to take another means of transportation, you could opt to walk the distance instead. http://www.walkingconnection.com/

There is so much intrinsic value in the act of simply going for a casual stroll, that I'm surprised someone hasn't tried to find some way to put a price tag on it, although somebody has probably tried, shhhhhh, let's not give'em any ideas. One of the best parts about enjoying a nice walk is that it's totally cost free. Heck, if your lucky, you might even find some cash on the road or trail where you are walking (Cha-ching!). You can't do that while your zooming down the road in some car. Walking is great, it's healthy, enjoyable, and good for your soul. Walking doesn't cost a dime and it's accessible to anyone that's physically able to get up and go. Henry David Thoreau wrote an essay about it, it's called "walking", and you can read some here http://www.transcendentalists.com/walking.htm . Mr. Thoreau agreed with me that everyone could benefit if they would make taking a peaceful walk an essential part of every day. (Happy? Bored? Feeling Kinda Down or Frustrated? Go Outside And Take Yourself A Peaceful Walk!!) ;-)




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LOOK > P ersonal I mmediate G ratification > Get it?> Be an Original, Sky > (Buck The Status Quo) ;-)



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(more)Random facts that could probably only be of interest to you(and yours)- Skylar is a wonderful name of Dutch decent and it originates from the Dutch surname Schuyler, which means "scholar". Hmmmm, pretty brainy sounding. There is reputedly also an English origin that I've heard of and it's a total rage. In the English origin your name means, get this....... Eternal Life, Strength, Love and Beauty. Yeah!!!! Go Baby!!!! That totally rocks Sky, and I bet it couldn't be more accurate. ;-)

In your particular names sake, there was a beautiful little girl who, tragically, was pulled away from her parents far too soon, and it broke their hearts. The young girl had some really unfortunate medical problems and I can't imagine what her parents went through. They loved her VERY much and have since started an annual fund raising benefit in her name. GOD BLESS HER PARENTS. You can read more about that here http://www.skylarneil.org/story.shtml . Your mother named you Skylar because she was inspired by this girl and her parents, and, because she just really liked the name. I really liked it too, and so, on November 16th 1991, you officially became Skylar L'nea Wheatley. To me, that was one of the greatest days of all time!!!

The "top 25" link column on your web log has ceased to exist. I've found a few more sights that I felt I just had to add to the list, so, now there are 29!!! They're pretty cool, check'em out!!!! :-) Well, I guess that's all for this one ............

I LOVE YOU SKYLAR!!!!! I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR WEB LOG!!!!!! I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON!!!!! I'LL POST AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS!!!!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SWEETHEART !!!!! MAKE SURE THAT U TREAT PEOPLE RIGHT!!!!!! REMEMBER TO ALWAYS BE CONSCIOUS OF THE CHOICES THAT YOU MAKE, AND MAKE SURE TO MAKE SURE TO DO WHAT YOU KNOW IS RIGHT!!!!! YES!!!! BECAUSE, IT TOTALLY MATTERS!!!!! PEACE OUT BABY!!!!!! BYE 4 NOW MY LOVELY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!! C-YA SWEETIE!!!!!! I GOT THE JAZZ,'CAUSE I'VE GOT YOU IN MY HEART!!!!! WHOOHOOOO!!!!!! YOUR DAD'S A SILLY IDIOT!!!!!!! WHEN AM I GOING TO STOP WRITING ALL BIG LIKE THIS!!!!!! WHA-OH, THE DAMN THINGS STUCK!!!!! HELP!!!!!! HEEEEEEELLLLP!!!!!!!!! AGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! whoa,that's better.....alrighty then......love ya! ;-)

Still Alive, Grateful........and keepin it real...

Hi Sweetheart, I hope this finds you doing well and feeling grateful about it. Ya know, that's a really important factor in people's daily opinions about things. You can either be happy with yourself or things around you, or not, but one should never allow themselves to forget to be grateful. Yep, even if things aren't going right and your mood is completely in the dumper, you should still try and remember that there are still numerous things that you can always be grateful for. Be grateful that you even have problems to deal with. Be grateful that you'll have a chance to fix them. It's easy to forget about or take for granted the ability to feel and recognize that you are grateful, but when you think about it, we should all feel a sense of gratefulness.

In the most primal, basic sense of all, we could and should be grateful for the fact that we are even conscious, free thinkers and that we even get a chance to be alive on this wondrous planet in the first place. See, it's easy to honestly identify sound and fundamental reasons why we should always carry a sense of gratefulness in our hearts. Recognizing some things that you have to be grateful for can help to honestly change your perspective on life in general. I exude these feelings because at this point I truly know, but I think that anyone can, and should as well. I'm grateful that I could share that little tangent with you, at least it was a pleasant one, and I'm grateful that you will be able to read it too. And I'm also grateful that, well, you get the point. (We Should All Be More Grateful Both In And For Our Lives) ;-)

Well, that did a great job of getting me completely off the subject I was going to talk about. Now just let me try and remember what that topic was......hmmmmm...grateful I have a memory(ok, enough of that). Ah yes, I was initially going to talk about how difficult it is these days to see through all the false appearances that we're presented with on a daily, or even hourly, basis. I just want to talk to you a little bit about fine tuning your ability to see through the visual aspects of things and being able to connect on a real level with what's actually going on. Most of the time in this world, I believe that things are, to an incredible degree, a lot more simple than they appear. The world we now live in, more than ever, is filled with an infinite amount of visual and audible cues that are designed to initiate false and illusory human perceptions. It's going on bigtime in the political arena, of course, but I think if you take a little closer look at things that you'll realize the amount of phony or inaccurate diversion that you have to cognitively sift through on any given day is indeed an ever growing perplexity.

We now have entire cultures and tastes built primarily on a fake or phony aesthetic while at the same time we're being bombarded with attempts at making us buy in to the "scene" and to accept the phony as if it were to be real. Most of the time there may be a few originators of whatever philosophy or style is being presented, which could be seen as more authentic, at least original to some degree, but as far as the mass of the pretenders that follows, Sheesh, you can toss any hope for authentic originality right out the window. Why are so many in society so readily willing to throw out any ability they may have to be an active, and positive, free thinker?

It's called deindividualization, Sky, and it involves giving up your individuality as a person and going along with a crowd despite your own values , morals, or beliefs. Learn this word, look it up and commit it to your permanent memory and don't EVER do it. Not because your father told you not to, or your mother, grandparents, or any social worker, counselor, or teacher. Make a commitment NEVER to allow yourself to do this because you understand what it means and because you decide you'd rather remain your own individual in character and be distinguishable, as an individual, from all the other fraudulent, cookie cutter types that are out there. A good example of this is engaging in an activity that you normally would not be willing or interested in doing but you do it anyway just because everyone else is.

I would strongly urge you not to fall in to that trap Sky, going with the crowd in many cases won't make you cool, or hip, to anything good, special, or desirable, if it's a poor decision in the first place, then it'll just make you stupid for making a bad decision along with a large group of other people. You are the ONLY you, Sky, that holds an immense amount of worth. I'd encourage you through your own judgment, to trust me on this one sweetheart, it's one of those that you'll be very glad you did. Ok, now back to the subject of false phonies and fakers, they're everywhere, they've even taken over most of main stream popular music these days.

I think most of the so called "jam band" movement, for example, was actually started by the demand of honest music lovers everywhere that were just entirely fed up with the complacency of modern mainstream music these days. Wow, I think a lot of good music has come from that sort of genre, but the point I'm talking about is how this all seemed to grow so huge out of shear desperation from the fans that were starving for some good live music. It spans much farther, or deeper, than the popular music industry. You go anywhere these days and it seems ever increasingly difficult to find someone that's real or down to earth and not hiding behind some phony props or false presentation of themselves.

And it happens everywhere it seems, even in all the products we consume. Take this as an example, how many times have you seen a beverage that was labeled as a "juice drink"? It's 10 or 20% actual fruit juice and the rest of it is some nasty mix of high fructose corn syrup and some indiscernible industrial concoction that you'd have to be a master chemist to understand. How likely would it be for someone to want to buy this stuff if it were just plain honest and up front in it's presentation of what it really is. Would you buy something if it said "High fructose corn syrup with 20% fruit juice included !"? Yuck, neither would I. Advertising is such a con game most of the time, we definitely have to beware of the tricks of their trade. But that's those corporate fark wads, let's get back to the subject of people...

You know what I think, I think there are two primary culprits to this narly social phenomena. Laziness and fear. Yep, It's just my theory but I believe that there is an ever growing segment of society that is just too scared to be themselves and/or just too lazy to figure out how to get past this problem. Add in huge amounts of public apathy, in general, and you have the makings of our current state of..hmmmm....I'll call it.... Non-being. Yeah, that's a pretty decent name for it, that'll do for right now. Fear + Laziness + Grossly Apathetic Public = The Mess We're In Right Now. That's my new formula, fresh off the presses, of my brain. Ok, so how do we fix it? That's another hundred and fifty thousand pages, at least.


I know this may seem simply like a rant to you, and yes, to some degree, I am ranting to be for sure. I only hope that you may be able to take a bigger, wider look at some of the things I "rant" about from time to time and that you will be able to become enlightened to some of the deeper points that I'm intending for these observations to illuminate to you. That's the only thing that could give these observations any value or make them worth the time it takes to share them. I only share this stuff in hope that you could personally benefit from them. My hope is that if I share an alternate viewpoint(s) with you it can have a positive effect of expanding your consciousness a bit and as a result you may just begin to form a more critical thinking mind of your own someday. This is a crazy world we're living in right now, that's an understatement of the grandest proportions for sure.

Sky, just as some things are surely destined for change, there are also some things that will, equally as surely, always stay the same. There is more to the term "old school" than just a reference to outdated fashions or some kind of nostalgia trip for all us older folks. No, dear, it's a sense of when things had a more basic, more real sort of feel to them, simpler times. When core values and basic moral sensibilities still held a wide spread importance to the common citizen. In that sense, those truly were the "good old days". Hey, there's yet another reason we should sooo value our elders, ya know? They can help to carry over the good wisdoms, the ones we need to survive, for civility to survive.

What I'm trying to get across to you is that people are always going to be people. Throughout the ages and far in to the future(in some galaxy far far away perhaps?) the human behaviors, thoughts and emotions, that people have always had, will always originate from the same human origins. It's probably safe to assume that things like greed, love, compassion, apathy, and all core level feelings and emotions are all natural human capacities that will be with us, largely governing our actions, and originating from the same kind of human brains that have been around for centuries, for as long as natural(non-laboratory) human beings exist. Indeed, some things, thankfully, will never change. That's why it's important for us to learn and retain some of the things from the past. Like the importance of self respect and the value of respecting and learning from our elders, for a couple of examples.

I hope and pray that you will be equipped with the self confidence and awareness it'll take to survive out there in this crazy world of ours. Please, don't get me wrong, darling, I do have an immense amount of confidence in you and that faith is neverwaning. I just want to make sure that you're "awake" enough to steel yourself with the positive energy it takes to stick things out when the going gets tough. My primary hope is just that you won't allow yourself to be sucked up in to the giant "Negative Energy Vortex" that seems to dominate a lot of our culture and society as a whole right now. Don't do it baby, be strong and be free to think for yourself, as an original, because underneath it all that's exactly what you are, a beautiful one-off original, an incredible one of a kind. :-) Fo'Shizzle.


I love you and I hope you're keeping yourself busy with constructive and positive things. Don't forget to keep that noggin muscle stimulated either 'cause I'm afraid that if you don't use your nugget than you might wake up someday much too soon and it won't be quite as strong(Doh!). Know what I mean, jelly bean? I don't really know about the whole "use it or lose it" philosophy but I definitely believe that your brain is kind of like a muscle in that you have to exercise it regularly in order to keep it in optimum shape. Good brain fitness is totally smart, it's the most important "muscle" in your body.

Phewwwee.... Skylar, I'm going absolutely nuts out here trying to survive without you. It just totally makes me feel sick, literally sick. I hope that I can manage to achieve some sort of contact soon, Sky, 'cause I don't know how much more of this I will be able to endure. I'll hold on though, because, I know there is always hope. You REMEMBER that Sky, hope can exist for as long as you will let it, and then some.

Even if you feel really angry with me, which I'm sure you probably do, or even if you feel like you hate my ugly guts, which I hope you don't, It will soothe my soul just to know that you're out there and your doing alright. I'd like to know that you're safe and healthy and doing ok, ya know? I just totally miss you a hella mad crazy lot, and I'm concerned for how your doing and how your feeling emotionally because, well, probably because I'm a quasi worrywart, but mostly because I love you and I'm your father. Mostly I just long for you to know how much I care. Right now, that's definitely the biggest thing.

I miss you with all my heart Sky. I'm waiting for the day that I can get word to you and let you know that I'm here, that I love you, and that I've always wanted to have you in my life. I'm sorry that things are the way they are Sky. I'm so deeply sorry that I've ever let you down, In any way, honestly, I totally didn't mean to. I Love You More Than Life Itself Baby. I pray that I'll be able to hear your voice soon, before you're all grown up. You try and treat people right, Ok, like you would prefer for people to treat you, and always make sure you're conscious of the choices that you're making and be sure to do the right thing, because it totally matters. God Bless you my beautiful daughter. Je t'aime chèrement mon beau Ciel. I'll post again here soon.

Sincerely Yours Forever, You're Forever E.G.F.

Plastic Covers......they're phony and they don't wear well...

Hi Sky, I hope things are well for you and that you are beginning to acclimate to your school surroundings. Just remember, everybody there is human and everyone has fears and weaknesses of some sort. School is a place to overcome your fears and to turn weaknesses in to strengths. That makes it a good place, a positive place. If anybody at your school is not in touch with that then they are on the wrong page, not you Sky. Maybe you could enlighten them or something.

School is supposed to be a place of challenge and struggle, that's just part of growing, sweetie, and high school is a place for growing as a person. It's not always easy perhaps, but if you engage your school experience with a sense of adventure and personal discovery you can really take a lot away(with you) from the experience, and really have some fun at the same time.

Discovery is the first step in learning something new. If you enter in to a new learning experience enlightened to the discovery process, then the opportunity to expand your knowledge and broaden your horizons could only be felt as a positive and desirable thing. That, in turn, stimulates your hunger for learning new things and once that craving, that hunger for knowledge, begins to take hold, well, then way more than half your battle has already been won, my dear(like 90% or something). At that point your whole perspective of school and the whole Idea of learning will begin to completely, profoundly, change. Now you can begin to see school as an opportunity and something you can be excited about as opposed to just some boring, humiliating experience that the "authorities" are making you go through.

Believe me, It's WAY better to have to do something your excited about getting involved with than it is something you have little or no enthusiasm for. The primary point I'm trying to get across to you darling is that you have an excellent opportunity before you right now. You would by far be best served by taking charge of your education and approaching the next several years(at least) as your learning experience that you own the rights to and that you decide to take control of and power that vehicle for your own good.

"Heck with'em, I'm going somewhere with my life", that's the attitude that I would take and as I do hold a particular fondness for you, my lovely young lady, that's precisely the attitude I would whole heartedly suggest that you should take as well. It could serve you quite well if you decided to attack this whole experience with vigor and relentless energy, now, while those commodities are readily and abundantly available and at your disposal. Jeez, I only wish I still had half the natural energy that I'm sure you probably have right now. Believe me honey, the proverbial "iron" is definitely wicked hot, and the time to strike is now. Just some food for thought sweetie, from a true and caring friend ;-).

To tell you the truth, that's not actually the main topic I was planning to talk about today but my drive to fulfill those intellectual father duties just sorta kicked in and took over for a minute, it's all good though, that was some important and potentially really helpful stuff, I hope it might serve you well in your adjustments toward school.

What I was planning on talking about today was something that I've come to refer to as "plastic covers" and furthermore the disintegration of any identifiable levels of self respect among society of late. Hmmmmmm, you say, yeah, hmmmm indeed. It appalls, disgusts and deeply saddens me when I see someone's very identity, their honest self, being sequestered away behind some false sense of "brand name label" security.

It seems that since I was about seven years old or so I have noticed these roaming "label whores" walking around just about everywhere. Is there that huge of a lack of ability to communicate to people the importance of just being ones self?
I mean, hey, if you don't actually avail yourself, I mean an honest version at least, then you can't possibly ever really be in the mix.
Skylar, hear me now my Love, and know this to be absolute, Sky. What's on the inside is all that really matters and if you don't show that true content then you are not ever going to be truly free to feel comfortable as You and you'll never truly be a part of any community. Think about these things if/when a temptation comes over you to recede in to some fake shell and hide behind the name of whatever brand name logo is currently popular. Don't get me wrong Sky, fashion and neat looking stuff to wear can be fun, but, it will never be anything more than just a cover for whatever is really going on beneath it.

Perhaps because this practice is such a foregone conclusion to so many and has become so deeply integrated in to widespread popular cultures subconscious as a social norm, you may be thinking, "what's the big deal?". Well, actually, the big deal here has less actually to do with any thing fashion oriented and more to do with the serious social issue of people just generally becoming more and more generic and fake(thus, out of touch) and less and less like genuine people with any sense of integrity and personal identity. It feels like the hugest ever mass human de-individualization process and it comes along with a seriously waning sense of overall self respect. I've never in my life seen so many individuals in any given area that have such an absent sense of being(belonging) and lack of any sense of ownership within their communities.

The self respect within popular culture is currently at an all time low and it can be confirmed all over this great land of ours. I don't know to what degree this is attributable to popular cultural trends and what level of the the blame should go toward the overspun capitalist machine that effects us all but I do know one thing, this current social climate we are living in is sickening, unhealthy and entirely unnecessary.

One thing is totally for sure, I most definitely don't want my daughter going around through life without a clue about what kind of corporate giants are out there threatening her freedom to have an enjoyable, toxin free life without some big conglomerate sticking their advertising garbage down her phyche and trying to manipulate the way she thinks. No way Jose, I will make sure that my family members and all people that are in my life are very aware of the threats that big business influence is currently having on our TRUE quality of life in this country. I don't want a giant helping of their plague and I don't want them trying to push it on my loved ones either.

Beyond the fact that some stupid t-shirt, or whatever type of clothing you want to use as an example, is only a stupid piece of clothing, the fact, more often than not, is that the high priced Item you think you purchased is in honest truth really only as cheap or cheaper than the "bargain basement" type stuff that aren't considered to be as cool. You've just been taken for the grand retail ride, oops, they got you. You've now become just another corporate sucker, and you get broke, and they get filthy rich from it. What gives here?

Getting caught up in worthless retail brand names and somehow allowing yourself to associate this stuff in any way with your personal self worth or general level of coolness you possess is a really stupid habit to get in to Skylar. I hope you can read though this and manage to grasp the point I'm trying to get through to you here. I Love you baby and I don't want something so ridiculously worthless to have any sort of guiding or self esteem effect on a beautiful capable young lady like you are Sky. You have soooo much more to look forward to in your life then some phony props or false reputations and I want to remind you and encourage you to not just always be yourself baby but also to know and understand why it is you do. (whoa, that kinda rocked! yessss) ;-)

Well honey, I guess that would pretty much do it for today, I'll wrap this one up and begin to make some preparations for my next post which should be here within the next few days or so.
SKYLAR, I LOVE YOU BEYOND WORDS AND WITH THE ENTIRETY OF MY HEART. I hope that you will find this web log soon and as these posts get more time critical to their ability to help you I really hope that I can notify you that this thing is even out here. I'll be working on that one and until some contact with you can be achieved I urge you to treat others at least as well as you would prefer to be treated and Skylar always, always, be conscious of the choices that you make and make sure that you make sure to do what you know is right. God bless you sweetie, you truly are my lightness and my hope. Soyez bon ma belle fille.

Avec La Sincérité Totale ,
Votre Pour Toujours E.G.F.

Hello Out There In Outerspace.....Skylar are you out there???....

Hello my beautiful daughter, I hope that all is going well for you and that you're keeping busy with positive things. I have just started physical therapy and it looks like I'll be able to go three times a week so that's some really awesome news for me. I will be seen at a local pain management center on the 24th of this month so overall things should be improving a bit for me soon, medically speaking anyway. I was able to speak with a very pleasant woman yesterday about getting some counseling to combat against the depression and anxiety that are natural offshoot's of the chronic pain syndrome that I experience.

I also explained to her about you and my dilemma surrounding that situation. I was thinking yesterday about the idea of soliciting the help of one of the religious based organizations in this area. I think I'll see if any of them could or would be willing to help me to let you know I'm out here. I wish I could just send out a courier or something 'cause all I really need to do is tell you to google yourself. Man, that's seems so easy, yet it's like, in a sense, still so far away. Google Darnit! Google Google Google.

Oh well, at least I still have something to look forward to I guess, although that's a pretty shoddy bright side if ya ask me.
I think I'd rather just make contact right now, as a matter of fact I know I would. I'm sure I'd still have plenty to look forward to from that point. Heck, with you in my life I'd have everything to look forward to with each and every brand new day. I think I could adjust to that, fer sher babio, ferrr sher. Yeah, no doubt about it, yeperz. Dat'd be betta den da lottery yo! SHIIIIOT. ;-) You don't really talk like that, do you? jeesh, I hope not( but actually, I'd Love you even if you only spoke swahili or goony goo-goo or something, you're still my baby to me. ;-) word.).

So when's this big magical occurrence going to 'appen eh? Like yesterday would be cool, ya know? Hellooo?!?....Planet Plootonnnnn!?!?!......Can You Hear Me ?!?!?!?........Is Anybody Out There?!?!?!......... HELLOooOooOooOooO!!?!!?!!......Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Is Is There There There, Like Like Like, An An An Echo Echo Echo In In Here Here Here Here Here??!?!?! ......Yooooo Yoo Yoo Yoo Yoo Hoooooo Hoo Hoo Hoo Hoo?!?!?!?.........Hello ello ello ello ello??......HellO ellO ellO ellO ellO!?!?!?!.....uh...hello? Huh, nothin yet :-( . Well..... Bummer, guess I'll keep on trying, maybe someday I'll get a connection. You know what they say, If at first you don't succeed, well..in this case anyway, you try try try try try try try try again, and then try some more if ya have to. All this trying is making me sleepy, (BIG YAWN) I think I need a nap.

I have been looking forward to the opportunity to post again although I suppose I don't really have the time right now to make my commentary(did I actually just call it that?) as good as I'd like it to be, so please bear with me. I wanted to write something about the way that people treat each other and how witnessing that over and over effects the way that we behave within ourselves. I think that when somebody visually experiences a certain type of behavior at a repeated frequency, like, over and over again, that it can have an incredible impact on how that person, in turn, treats others throughout their day. I mean, if you see people conning, manipulating, and just generally being disrespectful to others on a repeated basis, it almost has to have a negative impact on you, right? So the only option in that situation would be to simply stop being a witness to this and that would usually only happen if you stopped being around the offensive individual in the first place. Agree? coolness.

So I suppose what I'm trying to explain here is the connection between one persons offensive and/or harmful behavior and the direct causal effect it has on any other person that may find themselves in the offensive persons company for any extended length of time. I'm sure you can understand that, right? wicked cool. So darling, what I want to ask you is, please, in the spirit of being conscious of making the right choices in your life, please be aware of when you are in the company of someone who is cruel, overtly rude, disdainful or plain disrespectful of themselves and/or others and make the conscious choice to avoid the inherent trouble that these types inevitably attract and choose not to be around them. If you make this right choice you can save yourself a whole world of trouble (for shizzle, believe me, I know) and allow yourself the chance to still have the opportunities that these "not so wise" individuals are throwing away their ability to have.

Just a heads up sweetie, there are a zillion bad situations you can get yourself in to and 1. All of them are bad(I mean BAD NEWS) and 2. Most of this bogus turmoil can be completely avoided if you just take the simple measures of looking at your environment and making the right choices in the moment. Believe me, as soon as you ever experience a chance to exercise this option and do make the right choice and choose not to be a part of whatever trouble is being brewed up, you will positively thank me. The coolest part about this lesson is that after you first exercise it in real life you will instantly be able to grasp the whole of it and from then on you'll be exceedingly less prone to fall in to some unwanted trouble or problems in your life. It's kinda neat because once you use this one it automatically helps protect you and your freedoms in life.

When my parents told me about this it was in a much different sounding context. They called it "bad influences" and said something like "You shouldn't hang around with that kid. He's a bad influence on you!", you can imagine how productive that was. Why couldn't they just explain it to me like I had a brain or something, you know, so it made sense to me. Then I would have taken my cue from there and boy, oh boy, the "world of trouble" I ended up in I could have definitely done without.

Anyway sweetheart, that's what I'm trying to do for you, explain things to you as if you were a thinking, competent individual that is capable of rationally thinking for yourself, which I respect that you are, and know that you can. With this Skylar I hope to help you avoid some of the serious pitfalls that I in my own childhood fell face first directly in to. And I guess that's the gist of what I was wanting to share with you for today.

Remember this, lovely girl...Take integrity over popularity and you'll always be cool. Thanks for taking the time to honestly consider these words Sky, I hope they can afford you some personal power and a little better chance in life. I truly hope only the best for you honey. God bless your every breath.

I LOVE YOU DEARLY MY SWEET DAUGHTER, AND WITH ALL MY HEART. I hope to find soon that contact with you has finally been achieved and until such great moment should grace my life, I will wait as patiently as possible, wait, and pray for grace. Please be responsible in your ever growing maturity Skylar and be sure to always treat others at least as well as you would prefer to be treated yourself. And as I always make sure to remind you, darling please.....always make sure that you are conscious of the choices that you make and for your own good and the common welfare of others make sure that you do the right thing. I Love you sweetheart and I will post again here soon. May peace surround you and keep you in its fold. With Utmost Love and Sincerity, Your FOREVER E.G.F.

Awash On Disparaging Seas......searching for shore...

Hi Sky, I hope you are doing well and keeping busy with positive things. I've been thinking a lot about you lately and about this web log I've been posting. I realized I've been so busy trying to get this thing out and hoping you would find this that I didn't even consider much the fact that you very well may not even want to read this stuff. If that's the case Skylar I'll understand, and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that this is a genuine attempt to help you out and that any emotion I share with you is strictly in truthfulness. I just miss you, a mad hella bunch, and it strongly appealed to me to have an outlet through which I could talk to you and share information and, mostly, just how I'm feeling.

Sometimes I think about if maybe this could somehow p*ss you off or emotionally upset you in any way. That would be my absolute last desire and It would pain me terribly to think that I was doing something to elicit anything other than a happy or positive response. I wish we could talk and if you didn't want me to write to you than I would try to really let you know that I'll always be here for you, whenever, forever, and then I would stop posting this. My main objective in even starting this web log was to try and reach out to let you know that I'm out here, and that I Love you honey, and that I'm not and never have been ignoring or avoiding you in any way on purpose. It brings such guilt and despair to my heart that it feels like I'm truly dying from it all.

I was talking about Bible passages in a recent post about religion. Well, I found one that pretty completely sums up the way I've been feeling. In Matthew 26:38 Jesus stated an overwhelming sorrow in his soul and asks some of his trusted people to stay and keep watch with him. I feel encumbered in my sorrow and grief yet I'm often greatly worried 'cause I have no one to "keep watch" with me. It causes me some confusion and bigtime despair and sometimes it's like really more than I can carry. The real truth is that with my life in it's present state of calamity, I don't even know how I'd facilitate having you visit me at the present time. Given the chance though, I would unequivocally figure out some way.

To be truthful with you, which I'll always be, I really don't even have my own place right now. Believe me Sky, when I tell you I'm in kind of a bad situation right now, that's like probably the understatement of the century. From day to day the yuckafied mix of mounting guilt and overwhelming sorrow feels totally and absolutely heinous and it's entirely unrelenting. The emotional pressure is sooo huge that it almost always feels much much bigger than me. Why would I share such deeply honest emotions with you that are not exactly happy or in the positive? Because, for one, I've sworn myself to always be nothing but totally honest with you Sky, and unfortunately this is what I'm going through, deserve it or not.

There is another reason though and it is the first and most important one for certain. You see sweetheart, I want for you to see first hand how, no matter how impossible any situation may seem, that there is always a way out and no matter what the situation may be, no matter how bad things can get, this too will eventually pass. The underlying and primary point to harvest from all this is, quite plainly, there is always hope. I want for you to remember this Sky, throughout the entirety of your life, for this may be one of the most valuable lessons life could ever teach us sweetheart, that no matter what kind of confidence crumbling chaos could possibly be raining down upon us, NO MATTER WHAT, there is ALWAYS hope.

I think I will keep on making these posts, for now, and I think I'll just keep on holding tight to all my hopes and maybe someday, within this sea of turmoil and uncertainty, I just might make it to to the other side. Maybe someday. Until I hear from you I will try and post on this web log at least every several days. Sky, If or when you may happen to come across this ever growing collection of thoughts and ideas, please realize sweetheart that it's truly and simply been a joyous gift for you and a grateful labor of my Love.

I LOVE YOU TRULY, ETERNALLY AND WITH ALL MY HEART. I hope that you will wander across this soon and until such time I pray that you will be safe and happy in your life. I'll post again here soon and until I do, always make sure you treat others with the courtesy and respectfulness that you would like to be treated with. I can not stress enough the immense importance of your consciousness in the choices that you make, so ...Please... always be conscious of your choices and make sure that you make sure to do the right thing....because,without doubt..... It absolutely, positively MATTERS. Thanks Sky, I Love you lots sweetie('MY SKY'). :-) Peace be with you my lovely daughter. Vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir. Soyez bon ma belle fille. Je t'aime chèrement Skylar. Avec La Sincérité Totale , Votre Pour Toujours E.G.F..

Shuck And Groove.......Another day in paradise..

Hi Skylar, I'm hoping you're doing well today, as on all days. Are you keeping your mind stimulated? You've got to keep that thing fired up or else the magic will begin to fade. Have you been challenging yourself this week with any projects or problem solving activities? I hope you know to keep yourself active honey 'cause it's really important to stay busy in order to keep your mind and body in good condition. Being in good shape physically and mentally is one of the simplest and most important things you can maintain in your life. It keeps you prepared so you can better take over the world....or..at least have a life not overwrought with struggle and strife. If you do actually take over the world, or even a small country for that matter, please keep me in mind, I could use a decent State Department job, an official jet plane would be nice too, thanks sweetie :-).

On a more serious note, I just made my first appointment with a local pain center so things should finally get moving along as far as my medical condition is concerned. I'm going to make an appointment to pre-register with a major hospital medical plan so if that works out I'll be able to receive the aggressive treatment my situation requires and that will be a serious blessing if that takes shape. I'm hopeful that with consistent proactive care I will be able to look more seriously at starting some college courses to get qualified in a permanent career field so I can jump back in to the pool of tax paying income generators. That means things should start taking shape here in the somewhat near future, I hope so anyway.

Well, I go to court today and it looks like I won't have to go back there again for at least another six to nine months, if that. I have been working on a Social security claim and when that finally gets approved I will be much better able to approach some of the issues that are currenting holding me back. You will also be mailed some funds then too so that should help you get some of the things you need/want for school. I know it's not a huge thing but it will at least help a lot and most importantly it will facilitate my ability to get an education and a safe place to live. I will be so glad when I get on the back side of this process, it will be way intensely cool to finally get an entire nights rest, in the same night. I'm looking forward to a lot of positive changes transpiring over the next couple of years and If I'm fortunate enough to get there It won't be a moment too soon. You are definitely in those positives if you wanna be. I won't rush you to do anything you're not prepared to so don't sweat that at all. I just would really Love to be able to have you in my life to as much of an extent as possible so be aware of that, OK? ok.

Do you ever write poetry? I was thinking about that a little earlier and I wondered if you liked poetry or maybe even have made some. I think I'd like to try to write a song sometime. I absolutely love music and I think it would be kinda fun and a good release of creative energies to attempt to make my own tune. I have a few themes I was leaning toward, like freedom of thought, eco stuff, and politics. Or maybe I'll just write a song about You :-). Then when I finish it I can get a talented musician to help me arrange the melody and I can present it to you know who (YOU?). Maybe someday I can get to a place that will afford me the ability to relax enough to channel some of those creative energies and I'll even write a song about Me, too. That would definitely be a barnstormer, for sure. Nooo, I have an Idea, we could write some stuff together and just sing about what ever comes to mind. Yeah, that would be waaaaay cool.

Do you ever do anything like that now? Like being creative or making art of some sort or whatever? I think that using one's creative side can be very rewarding and extremely therapeutic as well. If you don't already do something constructive with you're creative side then I would whole heartedly suggest that you try doing some things just to see what you can come up with. Who knows, you might just be the next S U P E R S T A R ....or maybe you'll just have some fun coming up with new ideas. Anyway, it can't hurt any and it's pretty fun to play around with stuff like music and art, just a thought.

Well darling, I think that it's about time for me to go get the shave/shower thing out of the way, that way I won't be scaring too many innocent folks today. Although, I'm not so sure that very many of these folks are all that innocent and, frankly, this whole place pretty much scares the holy bejeebers outta' Me. What exactly a bejeeber is, I have no Idea, but suffice to say, in this case, it's mad scary. It's just the life sucking perilousness of the mood draining Midwest and the illaudably illiberal Ill-Annoy. Ahhhhh yes, another day in paradise, yeeeehah! Whoa, somebody wake me up quick, I think I'm stuck in a really bad dream! Ohhhh, I know there's a bright side in there, somewhere. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder that's all. I tell ya what, you try and hang in there and so will I. Cool deal? Cool deal :-).

I LOVE AND MISS YOU DEARLY MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER. I will keep on standby for some kind of contact from you and I look very forward to the day that I should be so lucky. That will truly be a day of good fortune, no doubt about it. You be well and look out for those that you love baby. As you're making choices through out you're day, which you always eventually will, please remember to use a little foresight and make decisions that will NOT come back to bite you in the booboo. ok? Ok. And Skylar please remember to be conscious of doing the right thing.... yeah you got it, because it totally totally matters. Thanks Sweetie, I Love You Lots. I'll post again as soon as possible(soon). Most Sincerely Yours Forever, Your Forever E.G.F.

The Last Of The Dog Days.....of summer anyway..

Hi Sky, I hope your doing well today and not letting anything keep you down. It's certainly hot here in the cruel 'soviet' Midwest, about 100 degrees today. This Thursday is the last day of what they(who ARE they?) refer to as the "dog days of summer". They are named that after the Dog Star which is, I would assume, in a particularly visible place above us this time of year, and they span from July 3rd to Aug 11th. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying them, I kind of am, except it'd be WAY better if you were here. As for me, I'm pretty much just kickin' around for a couple of hours right now.

I filled out a multitude of medical papers and authorizations today and I also got to make an appointment with a local pain center. I signed more papers today than the average rock star at a publicity stunt. That should definitely get the ball rolling, in the medical area anyway. As far as school is concerned I'll just have to wait until I get a bit more stabilized medically and then I'm thinking about actually taking some classes at the local community college. Have you started school yet this year? I would guess this will be your introductory high school experience, if the math adds up. It's totally bogus that I even have to guess in the first place(ERRRRRRR!), but I started high school when I was 13 is why I say that. I hope you are excited about going to school, it's an excellent opportunity to build yourself up. Just don't be afraid to fail Sky, or to give it your best effort. Sometimes failing is just part of getting it sweetie, some times ya get things fast and sometimes it's not so easy. Trying is the big star of that show, if ya know what I mean.

If you try something and it doesn't work out well or you're not picking it up right away then just try to relax, breathe deeply and find your center, chill out, and then after taking a step back for a moment calmly try it from the beginning. You'll get it eventually, no matter what it is, you just have to learn to exercise patience honey. I know that when you are in a school environment, especially high school, that there are more distractions then anywhere else on the planet but you'll have to try and stay focused. If you put in the effort now, Sky, I promise you It will definitely pay off in your future. The future is such a pain in the butt because it's never tangible or definite and it always involves waiting(waiting can feel soooo heinous, right?).

One thing is for sure though, the future, your future, is definitely on its way, like a bullet train, and before you know it you will be living in it instead of dreading waiting for it. It's kind of cool(and scary) how when you get a little older in your years you begin to be able to realize and understand some things that, while seemingly obvious now, you couldn't buy a clue about back when it would have had the greatest impact in your outlook and approach toward life. What I'm trying to say here honey is that I'm attempting to explain some things that I've learned, in the hardest ways, so that you might be able to use that knowledge now and avoid a lot of the same hardships that I've had to endure.

Think of it this way, if you have to navigate a crazy ocean course to get to dry land on the other side it's a hella way lot easier if you get some inside tips from someone who's already navigated that journey. Like, "Hey, watch out for that island over there 'cause it's surrounded by dangerous coral reefs that'll sink your ship", that sort of thing. Make sense? So what I'm trying to do is to give you some warning about some things that may be different than they appear to you now and to let you know some experienced tips and stuff to help you see through the illusions of adolescence. Believe me, the teenage years are LOADED with'em. In my opinion the teen years can also be among the funnest times in your whole life as well. The most important and difficult thing is just being able to somehow find and maintain a functional sense of balance while your going through them. Part of the solution is to actually have a true living awareness that you are going through them, THROUGH being the operative word here.

I know it's just way way hard to be able to grasp the idea that this whole teen experience is just a short term pretext to the rest of your life, but in the bigger picture of your life sweetie, I'm afraid that that's exactly what it is. Not that you shouldn't totally rage your teenage experience, but, just be sure that you are aware that there is life, your whole adult life, to follow. If you remain aware of this reality and plan and navigate accordingly than you can afford yourself a better opportunity to relax and enjoy being a kid while your still there and at the same time be getting yourself prepared for the next level.

I have an interesting analogy I've always used to describe the stages in one's life. It's like comparing the different stages of entering a downtown office building or bank or the like, you know, where there's a set of doors and then another set of doors, with this interim space between the two set's of doors(what's that space for anyway? I dunno.). Anyway, It goes like this, when you are a child(pre-teen) you are just running around in the lobby, so to speak. Then, when you are a teenager(pre-17) you are going through the first set of doors. Now then, when you reach the age of consent, 18 for most purposes, you are in that in-between space between the set's of doors. At that stage it's like, you're not exactly an adult yet, but, your not exactly a kid anymore either, it's like you're not in but you're not out, a hazy middle ground, if you will. Then, and this is the powerful part, it happens when you finally turn 21 years of age. Now, whether you are ready or not, you either step smoothly, or are aggressively pushed, through that last set of doors, where the rest of the world population is waiting. You are now officially considered an Adult for the remainder of your life, FOREVER, and you will now be in direct competition(and hopefully some cooperation as well) with the entire rest of the "free and over 21" population.

Now, that may seem a tad on the melodramatic side to you right now, but if you sit back and take a good look at it I think you'll begin to realize that, while somewhat daunting in it's ominousness, it's pretty much "hittin' the nail on the head" accurate too. The major point in explaining all of this to you is in attempt to illustrate several important things that I feel very strongly that you should know. First of those being that you don't want to get caught sleeping when adulthood comes knocking on your door. This part is why I always emphasize the utter and total importance of using your time in school to learn new things and try and build yourself into a stronger individual while you have that opportunity. Time, it waits for NO man!

Unfortunately my beautiful young lass, girls, unfortunately, don't get a break on that one either, or animals or plants or anything for that matter, just shy of the 'Gee Oh Dee' {smile :-)}. It's best to be prepared, remember, Change Favors the Prepared Mind. I Love you very much, that's not part of this, just felt I needed to say that. Another important point to all this is that you are in the development stages of your life, more so now than you'll ever be again, so you're living in the most ideal time of all to start developing some sort of path or general idea of what direction you would ultimately like to take your life in(ya need a purpose,what do you really like?).
Also, I just want to illustrate to you the fact that while, indeed, change really does favor the prepared mind, that the inevitable truth is that change is, well, inevitable. By the way, that means it's GOING to happen WITH OUT A DOUBT, positively, for sure, you get the picture.

I Love you very much Sky, and I miss you a lot, for some reason I just felt like I needed/wanted to say that again. Anyway darling, I just want you to be well adjusted enough in your own mind to retain the ability to exist, as you are, in the here and now, and aware of where you are and at least somewhat aware of where it is you are heading. This whole thing in a nut shell, or, the bottom line here, if you wanna put it that way, is actually pretty simple(K.I.S.S. , right?).

You're at a very volatile age Sky and it's ripe with opportunity to pave a path for yourself that won't leave you stuck in a life filled with hurt and want. Trust me, those two both totally SUCK, harshly, you'll deserve and want better for yourself. I know things are tough when you're going through adolescence and I want you to know that I'm always available to help you deal with the growing pains and emotional confusion if things get out of hand(crazy) or uncomfortable for you. I'd always Love to hear from you and I'd drop everything in a New York Second(that's fast) if I thought you needed any guidance or just someone to talk to about something, anything, no matter what it was. Just know that I'm here for you Sky, in that way so far, at least. There are life transitions of incredible importance on your horizon and I want you to have a safe and happy future, that's all, I want you to feel fulfilled and full of life, not cheated by ridiculous circumstances. I have great hope and faith in you baby, that's a fact. Other than that, I really don't have much else to say about it, right now, for the time being anyway :-).

Well my lovely girl, I suppose I should probably wrap this one up and get my self moving toward the bus station. I'm headed in to a friends place to visit for a couple of days and then it's back to court on the 11th to see what awful fate awaits me. Wish me luck, I usually don't give too much weight to luck but in this case it's really pretty much all I've got to go on. I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH MY SWEET DAUGHTER. Ohhhh my heart is breaking by the minute. I miss you sooo soooo much my darling. Maybe I don't deserve to have you in my life. Could this be possible? I can't in the slightest imagine that that's the truth. So in my painful days of waiting I will become a cultivator of patience, to the best that I possibly can. I will hold on in only blinded faith that someday, and hopefully soon, some sort of contact with you can be achieved.

Man I hope that dream comes true, deserve it or not, it's the strongest I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. Until such grace should befall unto me, be well my daughter in your days and take good care of the Loved ones you do have around you. At this point if you've been reading even a few of these posts, you know what I'm going to say next...Be sure that you treat others how you would like to be treated and....Please.....Always be conscious of the choices that you make and be sure that you do the right thing. It Totally Matters. I'll post again here soon. Sincerely Yours Forever, You're Forever E.G.F.

Keeping The Faith.......sometimes it's tough...

Hi Skylar, I hope this finds you doing well and that you've been having some fun along the way as well. As for me I have been doing fairly well lately. I finally got in to see a Doctor and it looks like I'll be able to get some medical attention before long. That is some extremely good news for me. Lately I've been taking some walks along the riverfront here and on the nature trail. It's amazing how many kinds of flora and fauna this place has, for a city in Ill-annoy anyway. My favorite things to see are the Great Blue Herons of which there are several that hang out around here. Back home in Northern California(Nor*Cal) those are a rare and special sight indeed.

As I've been walking I've noticed that there is an incredible amount of garbage and filth littering up the area. I was really disgusted by all this. I felt like I really didn't have much room to complain about it if I just walked on by like everyone else did, so I started cleaning it up myself.
At first people just looked at me like I was mentally ill or something but I persevered in lieu of allowing that to bother me, although it honestly kinda did in a way. Then on the third day something magical started happening. A complete stranger stopped her car where I was standing and rolled down her window to thank me for doing what I was doing. Imagine, something so simple and obvious, yet people act like the clue had never occurred to them. Then a few minutes later another car stopped and soon yet another, this time the park district guys, who were very enthusiastic about my efforts.

That was two days ago and today it warmed my heart to see a lady walking the trail as usual, but this time she had a litter bag in her hand. I'm starting a positive trend!! Wow, it's amazing how gratifying it can be when you do something helpful and beneficial in the bigger picture, especially when people begin to follow you're lead. Now this place will begin to become more beautified and people may even remain more conscious of keeping it that way. The entire local ecosystem will benefit from that and, with a little luck, maybe people will naturally become more aware of how it's all connected.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you because I felt good about it and it helps illustrate a great example of doing the right thing and taking cues from the positive side of life.
The coolest part about that story is that it didn't cost a thing to accomplish. Just a little energy and a positive outlook about a situation. The park district was so enthusiastic about someone actually wanting to help make the place better that they offered me free bags and access to off limits areas of the park to retrieve unsightly junk and debris when it turns up. Sure , I know it would be easy to say that these park district guys were just privy to some sucker that would do their work for free. I like to believe that, once in a while in this world, just plain honest goodness really does prevail.

Anyway, I would highly encourage you to empower yourself to take the initiative and do something sometimes just because it's right and because you know it needs to get done. That my dear is what could be referred to as an "award winning character" and if you have the good grace to cultivate one of those than certainly, with a little assertion, your path through life may be paved with many a priceless dream fulfilled. I might mention though that you may not actually ever win an award for that, in the formal sense anyway. The point I'm trying to make, Sky, is that much more positive rewards are destined to those that truly take a positive outlook in their lives and handle matters, regardless of size or scope, with a genuine sense of compassion toward whatever it is their involved in and how they treat the others around them.

Has it ever occurred to you that you are a very powerful person in that you can make a significant positive difference to lot of peoples lives while you are on this planet? Well you definitely are and you, with out any doubt can, Sky, so try and wrap your brain around that one and incorporate it into your very core self(your soul, baby!). Own that knowledge and make it a part of you sweetheart, you owe that much to yourself.

Well, to be frank with you, my day has been a real crapper so far and I'm feeling a bit fatigued from it all(lot's of rejection :-( , bummersville) so I think I'm going to go and take a little breather and attempt to recharge and hopefully face the evening with a little more vigor than I'm feeling at the moment. I'm sure things will get better soon and probably even within this day, tough times always pass eventually. Until then I'll just have to keep the faith and keep on keeping on.

I'm still dreaming of hearing from you and I hope you can somehow be drawn to just put you're name(or mine) in google and see what comes up. Someday I know this dream will come true and you will somehow come across this web log. Like I was saying, until then I guess I'll somehow just have to keep the faith and know that I'll make it through. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART SKYLAR and I hope to get some sort of contact from you real soon. Take care of your loved ones around you and keep yourself well darling. And, as always, please be sure to be conscious of doing the right thing and make choices that you can look back on and be glad you made. Sincerely and with all my Love, you're Forever E.G.F.

Random (dad)Thoughts #3

Religion- Whoa Nellie, the dreaded R word. This is such a huge topic that I have to say that so far throughout my personal spiritual journey I have at best only begun to scratch the surface. It seems as though every major religion I've investigated thus far seems to focus eventually and ultimately around one singular supreme being. In my opinion it would appear that in all cases this supreme being is God(a.k.a. The Almighty), albeit through different stories and connected to through different ritual or prayer technique. What baffles me to this day is how some religions integrate a practiced sense of tolerance and acceptance of others and yet some religions seem entirely closed to outside beliefs, opinions or thought.

Probably the most incredible characteristic I've ever seen in any body of religious believers is the total disregard for issues regarding the health and ongoing preservation of our beloved planet Earth. I mean, Gee, God made that too right? Aren't we supposed to value our lives? How can we continue if we don't have a planet, or air to breathe, or water? If we're to "Love thyne neighbor", don't we need to try and keep him alive in the first place? It would seem to me that any good and virtuous, "spiritually righteous" persons would naturally tend to be good stewards of our planet. It appears that most often this is very much not the case. It's mind boggling in a ridiculous and vicious sort of way.

It freaks me out when religious leaders hail this great charge toward personal moral responsibility yet fail to even mention anything about looking out for our homelands(the literal land we live on) or any of the other living things that also call this planet home. I thought we were charged with looking out for all these creatures. In the Bible it says in "Genesis 1:29-30" that God gave all green seed bearing plants for all the birds and all living creatures to use as meat? Well, if that's the case then we'd better take care of these living plants lest we be knowingly doing direct damage to God's living creations, right? See, this stuff has a lot of crazy caveats that I just don't seem to be able to understand and that makes it very difficult for me to follow along with. I don't know about other people, but I'm worried about the future of this planet due to what humans have done to it and this damage is our responsibility and largely avoidable. That appears a lot more like FREEwill and a lot less like GOD's will if you ask me.

I was listening(why?) to a Fundamentalist Christian leader for a few minutes the other day and he said what I found to be some seriously startling stuff. He said that he was just passing through here(Earth) and that this place didn't really matter to him. W h a t??? Soooo does that mean he is free to just pooh all over it for the rest of us? I would certainly hope not, and if not, then why the lack of Earthly stewardship to accompany, even as a second class concern, his spiritual relationship with his personal Godhead? I would think the two would fit quite naturally hand in hand. AAAnd..If the former is true(about the pooh) then, well, there's hardly wonder why they(Fundy Christians) would be treated with such contempt and distrust by the rest of the world.

It was explained to me by a fairly popular F.C pastor that a "Fundamentalist Christian" is a Christian that interprets the Holy Bible in literal terms and not as a parable or allegory, except where it specifically says to. Ok, so there ya have that. To me, and this is purely just my own opinion here, these type of people are equal parts confusing, self limited in regards to life(before afterlife), and even downright dangerous to the rest of the population. So, if you come across one of these Fundamentalist Christians it would be nice if you talked sweetly with them and shared you're thoughts...Or.. Run like hell away from them as fast and as far away as you possibly can. I would totally understand it either way you decide to go. One things for sure, these guys are WAY(and I mean WWAAAYYYY) beyond the basic notion of belief in a "Higher Power".

Another thing I would like to suggest to you is taking a good look at the whole Evolutionary concept and it's theoretic point of view while learning more about religion. That might help to maintain a balance of Ideas that are available for your consideration and ultimate discernment. There are so many huge arguments involved in modern day religion that that's what I think may initially scare so many people away from honestly exploring their personal spirituality and, hence, keep them from ever coming in to touch with that life important and extremely effectual part of their being. Let's face it, from a purely logical point of view it makes total sense to want to explore the nature of one's ultimate reality of being. What better way could there be for someone to get to know themselves better and better understand where they fit in to it all(in life) and how they are connected in relation to all animate and inanimate things that surround them.

As far as believing in God or not, well honey, I'm afraid that's going to have to be left up to your own loving heart, but, if it helps at all, your Father does, although I'm not so sure just how to define it yet, I'm still working on that one.
I once read an interesting argument called "Pascal's Wager". "Pascal's Wager" is the name given to an argument due to Blaise Pascal for believing, or for at least taking steps to believe, in God. This is basically how the wager went, If you erroneously believe in God, you lose nothing (assuming that death is the absolute end), whereas if you correctly believe in God, you gain everything (eternal bliss). But if you correctly disbelieve in God, you gain nothing (death ends all), whereas if you erroneously disbelieve in God, you lose everything (eternal damnation). So, Pascal concluded, that it made sense from a betters point of view to believe that there is a God. That's obviously not verbatim but you get the gist of it and I think he raises an interesting point. It's one of those "things that make you go hmmmm".

One other resource I'd like to point out is probably one of the greatest books ever written, regardless of whether you believe in it or not, and it's also the #1 spiritual text of English speaking nations and many others around the world as well. This book is of course, the Holy Bible. I must admit I'm far from being any sort of authority on the contents of this "Holiest of Tombs" and it seems that every time I hear someone trying to explain this thing to me I miss 3/4 of what they're saying while I'm trying to get to the page that they're speaking about. While I may not be a Bible aficionado, to any degree, I must say there are several things I have read thus far that were definitely interesting enough to buy the book some more face time with me sometime in the days ahead. I like James a lot, it's probably my favorite book in the Bible. I think James is the one most unrealized by the general public that could most easily cause a huge paradigm shift in the quality of life for the human population, if people just got it that is.

There are a couple of passages that I really like, like "Genesis 1:29" is a personal fave, and there is at least one(so far) that totally hits the nail on the head as far as being in congruence with what I've found to be the solid Truth in my observations in life. I think the section of "1 Timothy 6:6-10" should be learned and internalized by all contemporary humans as far as I have witnessed in my life. I also kinda like "Pillipians 4:10-12" because it seems to relate so exactly to my own life that it seems as if it were custom written about me. Another one I really like is "1 John 3:17-19". That one is about sharing. According to Biblical Scripture, sharing is not just a nice thing to do, it's required. Hmmmm, who knew? I guess it's a good thing I've always lived my life that way in the first place. I've even found one passage in particular that is just a perfect one for me to refer to you, it's "Romans 12:21". Frankly, It could have been said by anybody, on a fortune cookie, or even by a republican(eeks!) for that matter, it's really just the message there that I find incredibly important and it's an extremely important one that I'd like you to keep close to your heart. I'm sure there's other stuff I'd like in there too, I just haven't gotten that far. Probably my favorite of all is Proverbs 31:10-12, I couldn't have said that one any better myself. Maybe someday I'll be fortunate enough to find me a "ruby", maybe someday.

There are also several other sacred texts that I haven't even gotten a chance to examine yet, at all, so there is without doubt a far too vast amount of information out there for me even to begin to cover it in any sense of completeness or totality of content. This is just a small primer to get you started in case your not already on your way. A sort of collage of suggestions and random comments if you will. The rest is up to you, on your terms. I probably wouldn't encourage you to make it(spirituality) your all consuming primary reason for existence, but even with that as an option this spiritual journey, your spiritual discovery quest, is more so than any other aspect of your life, entirely and solely under your very personal discretion. I Love you and I pray that you would approach this crucial and life centering aspect of your being with the open hearted patience, honesty, and seriousness it deserves.

Here are a few web sites you might find interesting and/or helpful in learning more about this subject, http://www.mnsu.edu/emuseum/cultural/religion/ this one is about "Religions of The World"and it seems to be pretty comprehensive, http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html this one is on "Religions Ranked by Size" and it's a pretty good one too, http://www.religioustolerance.org/ and this one is pretty much self explanatory and is very important as well. As a sign of the times this one may be helpful in learning about what the Muslim religion is all about, http://www.whyislam.org/877/ . The true Muslim faith is very nonviolent and has nothing to do with terrorism Skylar so please be cautious of all the rumors and general disinformation surrounding these people and their faith.
Here's a couple more sites I think you might find educational and interesting to read about http://www.theology.edu/journal/volume2/ushistor.htm, this one is about the seperation of church and state, as is this one, but it's from a different source, enjoy, and I hope it helps you learn something new http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Psychology/amr/camer.htm.

Whatever you come across in your own spiritual quest, I would stress the importance of treating all people with an honest level of respect for their right to make their own personal choices and for keeping an enduring tolerance for the choices that they make. Frankly, I used to call Christian Fundamentalists "Jesus Crispies"(don't laugh) but I've since stopped because it's just not nice, regardless of how out-there or incomplete I may feel a great deal of their outlooks or opinions to be. The main idea here is to exercise restraint, when compelled to criticize others for their beliefs, respect, for other peoples freedom of religious and spiritual choice and open minded(and hearted) honesty when embarking on your own spiritual journey. You handle this at your own rate Sky and don't let anyone force their ideas over your freedom to think for yourself and I'm sure you'll do okay.

Meanwhile, you can probably find me at Thomas Jefferson's favorite church, and I'd Love to see you there. Actually, the last part of that sentence goes without saying and has absolutely nothing to do with religion 'cause I'd very much Love to see you ANYWHERE :-) . Peace to you my beautiful daughter and good travels on the 'Spiritual Quest' of your life. I LOVE YOU DEARLY AND WITH ALL MY HEART. May Peace and Love Surround You and may Love well up in your heart. It seems as though I'm on constant standby in my hopes of making contact with you and it weighs unbearably on my heart but I'll hang in there 'till the day some kind of contact with you is finally achieved.....and.... surely you didn't think I was going to forget to tell you.....Always treat others how you would like to be treated Sky, and Always be conscious of doing the right thing, because it really really matters.

Sincerely and Forever Yours, your Eternally Grateful Father