The Last Of The Dog Days.....of summer anyway..

Hi Sky, I hope your doing well today and not letting anything keep you down. It's certainly hot here in the cruel 'soviet' Midwest, about 100 degrees today. This Thursday is the last day of what they(who ARE they?) refer to as the "dog days of summer". They are named that after the Dog Star which is, I would assume, in a particularly visible place above us this time of year, and they span from July 3rd to Aug 11th. Anyway, I hope you're enjoying them, I kind of am, except it'd be WAY better if you were here. As for me, I'm pretty much just kickin' around for a couple of hours right now.

I filled out a multitude of medical papers and authorizations today and I also got to make an appointment with a local pain center. I signed more papers today than the average rock star at a publicity stunt. That should definitely get the ball rolling, in the medical area anyway. As far as school is concerned I'll just have to wait until I get a bit more stabilized medically and then I'm thinking about actually taking some classes at the local community college. Have you started school yet this year? I would guess this will be your introductory high school experience, if the math adds up. It's totally bogus that I even have to guess in the first place(ERRRRRRR!), but I started high school when I was 13 is why I say that. I hope you are excited about going to school, it's an excellent opportunity to build yourself up. Just don't be afraid to fail Sky, or to give it your best effort. Sometimes failing is just part of getting it sweetie, some times ya get things fast and sometimes it's not so easy. Trying is the big star of that show, if ya know what I mean.

If you try something and it doesn't work out well or you're not picking it up right away then just try to relax, breathe deeply and find your center, chill out, and then after taking a step back for a moment calmly try it from the beginning. You'll get it eventually, no matter what it is, you just have to learn to exercise patience honey. I know that when you are in a school environment, especially high school, that there are more distractions then anywhere else on the planet but you'll have to try and stay focused. If you put in the effort now, Sky, I promise you It will definitely pay off in your future. The future is such a pain in the butt because it's never tangible or definite and it always involves waiting(waiting can feel soooo heinous, right?).

One thing is for sure though, the future, your future, is definitely on its way, like a bullet train, and before you know it you will be living in it instead of dreading waiting for it. It's kind of cool(and scary) how when you get a little older in your years you begin to be able to realize and understand some things that, while seemingly obvious now, you couldn't buy a clue about back when it would have had the greatest impact in your outlook and approach toward life. What I'm trying to say here honey is that I'm attempting to explain some things that I've learned, in the hardest ways, so that you might be able to use that knowledge now and avoid a lot of the same hardships that I've had to endure.

Think of it this way, if you have to navigate a crazy ocean course to get to dry land on the other side it's a hella way lot easier if you get some inside tips from someone who's already navigated that journey. Like, "Hey, watch out for that island over there 'cause it's surrounded by dangerous coral reefs that'll sink your ship", that sort of thing. Make sense? So what I'm trying to do is to give you some warning about some things that may be different than they appear to you now and to let you know some experienced tips and stuff to help you see through the illusions of adolescence. Believe me, the teenage years are LOADED with'em. In my opinion the teen years can also be among the funnest times in your whole life as well. The most important and difficult thing is just being able to somehow find and maintain a functional sense of balance while your going through them. Part of the solution is to actually have a true living awareness that you are going through them, THROUGH being the operative word here.

I know it's just way way hard to be able to grasp the idea that this whole teen experience is just a short term pretext to the rest of your life, but in the bigger picture of your life sweetie, I'm afraid that that's exactly what it is. Not that you shouldn't totally rage your teenage experience, but, just be sure that you are aware that there is life, your whole adult life, to follow. If you remain aware of this reality and plan and navigate accordingly than you can afford yourself a better opportunity to relax and enjoy being a kid while your still there and at the same time be getting yourself prepared for the next level.

I have an interesting analogy I've always used to describe the stages in one's life. It's like comparing the different stages of entering a downtown office building or bank or the like, you know, where there's a set of doors and then another set of doors, with this interim space between the two set's of doors(what's that space for anyway? I dunno.). Anyway, It goes like this, when you are a child(pre-teen) you are just running around in the lobby, so to speak. Then, when you are a teenager(pre-17) you are going through the first set of doors. Now then, when you reach the age of consent, 18 for most purposes, you are in that in-between space between the set's of doors. At that stage it's like, you're not exactly an adult yet, but, your not exactly a kid anymore either, it's like you're not in but you're not out, a hazy middle ground, if you will. Then, and this is the powerful part, it happens when you finally turn 21 years of age. Now, whether you are ready or not, you either step smoothly, or are aggressively pushed, through that last set of doors, where the rest of the world population is waiting. You are now officially considered an Adult for the remainder of your life, FOREVER, and you will now be in direct competition(and hopefully some cooperation as well) with the entire rest of the "free and over 21" population.

Now, that may seem a tad on the melodramatic side to you right now, but if you sit back and take a good look at it I think you'll begin to realize that, while somewhat daunting in it's ominousness, it's pretty much "hittin' the nail on the head" accurate too. The major point in explaining all of this to you is in attempt to illustrate several important things that I feel very strongly that you should know. First of those being that you don't want to get caught sleeping when adulthood comes knocking on your door. This part is why I always emphasize the utter and total importance of using your time in school to learn new things and try and build yourself into a stronger individual while you have that opportunity. Time, it waits for NO man!

Unfortunately my beautiful young lass, girls, unfortunately, don't get a break on that one either, or animals or plants or anything for that matter, just shy of the 'Gee Oh Dee' {smile :-)}. It's best to be prepared, remember, Change Favors the Prepared Mind. I Love you very much, that's not part of this, just felt I needed to say that. Another important point to all this is that you are in the development stages of your life, more so now than you'll ever be again, so you're living in the most ideal time of all to start developing some sort of path or general idea of what direction you would ultimately like to take your life in(ya need a purpose,what do you really like?).
Also, I just want to illustrate to you the fact that while, indeed, change really does favor the prepared mind, that the inevitable truth is that change is, well, inevitable. By the way, that means it's GOING to happen WITH OUT A DOUBT, positively, for sure, you get the picture.

I Love you very much Sky, and I miss you a lot, for some reason I just felt like I needed/wanted to say that again. Anyway darling, I just want you to be well adjusted enough in your own mind to retain the ability to exist, as you are, in the here and now, and aware of where you are and at least somewhat aware of where it is you are heading. This whole thing in a nut shell, or, the bottom line here, if you wanna put it that way, is actually pretty simple(K.I.S.S. , right?).

You're at a very volatile age Sky and it's ripe with opportunity to pave a path for yourself that won't leave you stuck in a life filled with hurt and want. Trust me, those two both totally SUCK, harshly, you'll deserve and want better for yourself. I know things are tough when you're going through adolescence and I want you to know that I'm always available to help you deal with the growing pains and emotional confusion if things get out of hand(crazy) or uncomfortable for you. I'd always Love to hear from you and I'd drop everything in a New York Second(that's fast) if I thought you needed any guidance or just someone to talk to about something, anything, no matter what it was. Just know that I'm here for you Sky, in that way so far, at least. There are life transitions of incredible importance on your horizon and I want you to have a safe and happy future, that's all, I want you to feel fulfilled and full of life, not cheated by ridiculous circumstances. I have great hope and faith in you baby, that's a fact. Other than that, I really don't have much else to say about it, right now, for the time being anyway :-).

Well my lovely girl, I suppose I should probably wrap this one up and get my self moving toward the bus station. I'm headed in to a friends place to visit for a couple of days and then it's back to court on the 11th to see what awful fate awaits me. Wish me luck, I usually don't give too much weight to luck but in this case it's really pretty much all I've got to go on. I LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH MY SWEET DAUGHTER. Ohhhh my heart is breaking by the minute. I miss you sooo soooo much my darling. Maybe I don't deserve to have you in my life. Could this be possible? I can't in the slightest imagine that that's the truth. So in my painful days of waiting I will become a cultivator of patience, to the best that I possibly can. I will hold on in only blinded faith that someday, and hopefully soon, some sort of contact with you can be achieved.

Man I hope that dream comes true, deserve it or not, it's the strongest I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. Until such grace should befall unto me, be well my daughter in your days and take good care of the Loved ones you do have around you. At this point if you've been reading even a few of these posts, you know what I'm going to say next...Be sure that you treat others how you would like to be treated and....Please.....Always be conscious of the choices that you make and be sure that you do the right thing. It Totally Matters. I'll post again here soon. Sincerely Yours Forever, You're Forever E.G.F.