Sink Or Swim ......(just keep paddling)...

Hi Sky, I don't really have much for today since I've been really occupied trying to find out about school possibilities, medical help and scheduling other related plans. I hope your days have been treating you to some productive challenges, and some fun times too. I have to admit something that I've noticed about myself lately that I didn't really think would be an issue. I.... am way more nervous than I expected to be about going to school again. I knew it would be a little awkward but wooooeeee I never anticipated the apprehension I'm experiencing now. I guess it's a kind of testament to the fact of how important getting started is to getting a goal achieved.

I'm not nervous about the younger students that much and the idea of maintaining a set schedule's all cool too, it's just the unknown factors like how in the world I am going to accomplish this from my present position(which is pretty much el crappo at the moment). I can't for the life of me fathom how I'm possibly going to pull this off but in typical Me style I guess I'll just have to dive straight in, headfirst, ready or not, here I come. Then I suppose we'll just have to resort to the old standard "Sink or Swim" mentality and hopefully before you know it I'll be able to include a permanent address in these posts as well. First things first though as I have to get medically stabilized before I can go pursuing all these nifty dreams and such.

Actually the getting retrained in a suitable career part is about 99% dream and 100% percent necessity so the truth is I have to find a way to immediately get going on this thing. Gee, no pressure there. Oh well, at least if I ever really get bogged down in worry or self doubt starts to creep in(OH NO kill it, Quick!!) all I have to do is think about the even slightest possibility that If I get a better foothold in the financial realm I will be able to eliminate the courts from this situation(where I firmly believe they never should have been in the first place, thankyou very much) and I will be much better able to find and make real contact with you on a more effective level. If I could only afford it I would have a serious private investigator on this case and you would have NO doubt where I was or how to get a hold of me and vice versa. You'd also get knowledge of the fact that this here web log actually even exists and then I wouldn't have to feel like I'm sending this out to planet plooton in the far far reaches of outerspace.

Ahhhhh, well, I guess the bright side to this little scenario is that at least I still have something important to strive for. And believe me Skylar as long as I'm even able to thrive I will never give up on letting you know that I'm out here. I Love You More And More Everyday Sky and I don't even get to see you or hear your voice. Imagine how that would be when I finally get to see the real you and touch your beautiful face. Oh man that tortures me so much. I think I'm gonna go honey since this is getting tough to talk about now and I don't want to be all crying and soppy eyed in the public place where I publish this. People already look at me like I'm a Martian just because I have an injury. It's a good thing they can't see all the gnarled up heart break that's going on on the inside. They'd probably treat me like the elephant man or something("I am NOT an Animal!! I am a MAN!!!").

Geez, what's up with people nowaday's? What a scary society we live in, ya know? If people ever try to get you down you just remember sweetie, the only way that anyone can ever make you feel bad is if you decide to let'em. Keep your chin up Sky and let that youthful spirit soar 'cause this is YOUR time and no one can diminish the incredible reality and awesomely boundless power in that. I Love You Dearly my darling and I'll post again here soon. Please take pride in who you are by always being conscious of doing the right thing, because it really truly matters. You are my lightness and my hope. Je vous aimerai toujours Skylar. With Greatest Sincerity, Your Forever E.G.F. s.h.t.b.k.a. Dad