Random (dad)Thoughts #5

Hello my lovely daughter, I hope these words find you in a decent state of mental and physical health, full of vigor, grateful, and prepared to attack your day, or night, as it may be. I am forever compelled to encourage your adaptation of a consistent regimen of physical and mental exercise, as it not only bolsters your longevity and makes you feel better, in many ways, but also for it's effects on honing your capacity to articulate and impliment your natural and learned abilities to perform in life, generally speaking that is.

No kidding, a healthy body truly does assist and promote a healthy mind, while all the while inhibiting any number of harmful health maladies and, thus, allowing you to stay "in the game", which as I'm sure you are mentally adroit enough to figure out, will as a result, ultimately increase your overall performance, not to mention, your enjoyment levels in life and as direct consequence, increase your felt levels of happiness as well. I really mean this Sky, it's very important to me to stress the importance of this last paragraph, so please read it again, and again if necessary, until you can truly understand it, and prioritize it up in your brain stem. Then, commit it to your long term memory. (Take Care Of Your Mind And Body And They Will Help Take Care Of You) Now that's smart.

Hmmmm, this really is some very important info for your absorption, although, I think I may be guilty of postponing a bit the original topic I've intended to discuss in this post. Ok, well, since it seems like this is probably just about as long as I'm going to be able to put this one off, I suppose I should just get down to the topic at hand and get this crazy thing started already. Today, Sky, I shall attempt to approach a subject that has traditionally rattled fathers brains and shaken their nerves for hundreds and probably thousands of years. It is with a high level of openness and honest respect for your mental maturity and your overall ability to comprehend the thoughts, and information that I will now offer for your personal assimilation and discernment, that I present to you todays topic ; Sexuality, Self respect, and Becoming A Woman. Whew, let's get started, shall we?

After a good deal of thought I have decided, and much to your relief I'm sure, that as far as addressing the physical changes involved in the coming of age, the changes that are happening to your physical body, are concerned, these matters are probably best initially left up to your Mother to discuss with you. If however, you feel that you did not recieve a fair or complete enough explanation from that end, I would suggest that you could refer discretely to one of your female teachers that you like and trust, or at least can feel a bit more comfortable with at any rate.

You will be experiencing a multitude of physical changes throughout your adolescent life (refered to as puberty) and may already be well on your way. Boys at this age are growing and changing into young men and young ladies such as yourself are beginning to blossom into full fledged women. Sometimes during this stage, things can get a bit confusing and you may have many questions about what's going on and what to expect. Darling, you deserve to be able to have these questions answered in an intelligent and complete manner and till you're satisfied that you are comfortable with this subject matter. This time in your life is confusing enough without having to be unduly self-conscious about what is happening to your body.

Sweetheart, I should expect that any concerns about the physical aspects of becoming a woman could and would be addressed by any responsible female adult that you trust and can feel comfortable with. I want you to know, without hesitation, that if you are unable to satisfactorily answer any questions that you may have, for any reason at all, that I am always here for you and I would totally be willing and more than happy to explain anything you're wanting to know and to answer any questions that you could possibly have. Please don't ever feel like you are unable to get the answers that you seek, about anything for that matter, and not just about this type of stuff.

The only reason I would suggest you try elsewhere first is because I thought it might be more comfortable for you, honey. I assure you that if the need ever arose where I actually did need to explain things of this personal nature to you that I would treat you as a mature minded intelligent individual, which I have no doubt that you probably are. I feel I would be fully capable of discussing these typically female issues with you in complete seriousness and with a strong sense of respect for your dignity and personal esteem. So please know that Sky. Ok.

Now, what I will be attempting to address in this post is probably enough to take up more than a couple of posts anyway, so I suppose I'd might as well get going. Number one Sky, no wait, let me do it this way 1#) A boy will put you on a pedistal....... just so he can look up your skirt. Get it? These creatures, these BOYS of which you're about to be getting all googley over, are never to be trusted as being interested in anything under the sun other than getting a peek at what you're sporting in the "personal asset department". Simply put sweetie, boys are fresh, all of them, there really are no honest exceptions, they basically just want to get a little of whatever action they can, and then they're prone to toss you away like yesterdays news and proceed to bat googley eyes at your best friend or your sister. Yeah, crude, and nothing like the dream date you read about in those far fetched romance novels.

Yes, I'm somewhat embarassed by the crude and insensitive behavior of the bulk of my sex, but to be honest, to a point it's really not entirely their fault. And in case you're wondering, no, chivalry is not dead, it's only scurrying about in relative obscurity while the occurence of it fades into extinction with the few men left that still recognize the right way to treat a woman as being with respect and enduring reverence for their finer qualities and also for the intrinsic value that they hold to us. Not to mention the fact that weeeee need'em, boy do we ever need them. Women have this way of understanding us in a whole different way than we do, and in that way, I guess they really make us complete, and... well, that's a whole other story. Maybe I'll touch on that topic more in a later post. Yeah, I could call it "Gallentry, and how you should expect to be treated". Hmmm that's actually a pretty good Idea, but now, let's get back on our original topic.

Boys, sometimes it probably seems like you can't live with them and ya just can't live without'em. Yes darling, this is the age old controversial clash of the sexes and it has been around for about a million gazillion years, or more. Throughout your life you are destined to experience your very own comprehensive working knowledge of this amazing and often misunderstood phenomena. My advice to you in this matter would be, first and foremost, to have patience. Practice patience, learn to have more patience, and constantly teach yourself to strengthen and expand upon your functional capacity towards having and exercising patience. Anyone who has ever been in any length of a relationship, far more often than not, will tell you that one of the absolute most important elements in any relationship, right up there with communication (which is the ultimate one of all), is the ability to be patient with your "significant other" and to have your "significant other" be patient with you. Actually, you might as well just go ahead and begin the mastery of your skills now sweetie, and get a real good start on learning how to wait.

Don't get me wrong though, Sky, 'cause sometimes, if you're fortunate (and careful) enough to find the right person that will inevitably become the cause of all this wait, you just might find, my love, that they can be very much worth waiting for. But before you get to worrying about all the various aspects of a love relationship, perhaps it would be best if you just focus on learning how to be patient, with yourself, as well as others. Besides, you probably don't even really have a boyfriend quite yet, do you? Or do you? Oh jeez, I think I need to take another antacid. I haven't even gotten the chance to get to be close to you Sweetie, I hate to even think of some little junior romeo getting to be emotionally closer to my daughter than I am. Yikes, bad thought. Sometimes I find it really difficult to be patient in this situation, but I think that's a lot different than what I was talking about just a minute ago.

Nevertheless, I suppose I will have to come to terms with the fact that you are getting to the age when you will eventually be interested in dating boys and that you undoubtedly will be growing ever older and more mature as the days go rolling by. Somehow, in some way, that's kinda frightening to me, and it makes me feel kind of sad inside. I really missed out on so much of your life Sky, it feels like I'm ripping apart inside, and it's relentlessly eating away at my heart. I miss you so much Sky. Sorry babe, I got a little distracted there for a minute. This post is about you, and about some very important subject matter so I promise I'll stay on subject from here on out. Where was I, I believe I was attempting to speak a bit on your "coming of age" experiences. Ok, let's continue....

In this part of your life you may notice yourself feeling a little different, somewhat moodier than normal(I'd like to hear about that one), and perhaps even a bit confounded or confused. Never fear my dear, this is a perfectly normal occurrence, in fact, it's only your hormones kicking in. In boys, the hormones produced are called testosterone, and in girls, or, in young ladies (I apologise) the primary sexual hormone is called Estrogen. Frightening stuff sometimes, this estrogen is, as it is very powerful and can have tremendous effect on how you feel and act, practically from minute to minute. Anyway, your body will produce many many different kinds of hormones, but among the many, Estrogen will always reign supreme as the most prevalent of them all. So, beware...oops, I mean, be aware of the Estrogen. OK, a little bit of kidding doesn't hurt, right? Anyway, on with the show.......

Throughout this phase of your life, you might feel stronger romantic or sexual feelings than you've ever felt before. Rest assured, this is perfectly normal and natural, and as a matter of fact, it's even quite healthy too. Besides that, a lot of other people your age are going through the same thing. Be aware Sky, that while this (puberty) is a time of strong sexual or romantic feelings for many young people, not everyone experiences these feelings. Some kids may become more involved in sports, school, music, a job, or some other aspect of their lives. Everybody is different Sky, and people experience changes at different times and at different levels. Just as we have our own personal time table of development when it comes to the body changes of puberty, so it is that we each have our own personal timetables when it comes to romance and sexual interests. The best advice I could give you in this area is just to let these things happen as nature has already predecided that they will.

Savor every moment that you have Sky, these things will happen on their own, when it's time for you. There are many more important things to busy your mind with at this age in your life, so don't even worry about these things, nature will take care of this stuff in good time, my dear. The bottem line here, honey, is if you're concerned that you're developing(mentally/physically) too fast or too slow, or you're worried that there's something wrong with you because everyone else your age is madly in love or all wrapped up in the opposite sex and you aren't interested in such things, or you are and they aren't, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. There's nothing wrong with you. Your timetable is just different from theirs, that's all, so you can bigtime relax about that, baby, it's all going to be OK. IMPORTANT NOTICE ---- THIS POST IS NOT YET COMPLETE AND, HENCE, IS A CONTINUING WORK IN PROGRESS. THIS STATUS WILL BE IN EFFECT UNTIL THIS NOTICE IS NO LONGER POSTED. THANKYOU. (I love you Sky! I'll get this finished as soon as possible, sweetie. Keep smilin' !!)