Don't Let Your Faith Wane, Skylar Wheatley......the truth is on your side...

Hi Sky, I hope you are doing well and keeping yourself busy with positive and productive things, Skylar Wheatley (I'm making sure you stay in the Google listings). Have you been remembering to get plenty of physical exercise, Skylar Wheatley? You know, Skylar Wheatley, nothing is more simple and easily accessible than the opportunity to exercise your body. A consistent daily dose of vigorous physical exercise will help you maintain your health level, stimulate your energy level, and just generally keep you stronger so that you can better attack your day, besides, it's good for your mind too, and your soul. Anyway sweetheart, I just thought I'd remind you that the opportunity for that is free and yours for the taking. FYI , babe.

Well, I've gone through at least a half a dozen doctors so far and we're still trying to pin down exactly what's causing my symptoms. We know the basics, we just can't explain why the pain is at so high a level and why it's so relentless. I suggested that perhaps it's a broken heart, I have been having a few troubles with that, for a while now. I'm still missing you to death out here, but I still haven't lost my faith yet, and at this point I'm confident I never, ever will. Anyway, I have another appointment set for the 14th of this month, this time with a neurologist. I'll keep you posted on that little adventure. Wish me luck, It kinda feels like I'll be needing it.

While I've always been certain about the fact that you are my daughter and that I was exaltedly graced by God above to even have you as my daughter in the first place, I've never had any doubts about whether or not you would want to here from me or have me in your life. Until recently that is. Let me explain a bit more, about how I feel about things between us, and about what has transpired within the last few weeks. Initially, I felt certain, without a doubt, that you would most definitely want to hear from me, or at least make contact with me, in some way. I felt like a profound energy, a G.F.E. (God Force Energy), was shared between us and that this energy could never be extinguished, no matter what.

Then, just a couple of weeks ago, I started to get opinions and pseudo-advice from several different adults, who claimed to speak from experience. You see, these individuals all had children of their own, and I guess that supposedly gave them some sort of expertise on the subject. Anyway, these various adults were telling me that, unfortunately, at this age, you would probably not want to hear from me or know me in any way. Basically that you probably wouldn't want to have anything to do with me. These people were telling me that I'd probably have to wait until you get around 19 or 20 years of age, and then you might want to look me up. Whewee, that is not what I was wanting to hear, at all.

I thought strongly that of course you'd be absolutely interested in hearing from me, and I didn't want to be hearing any of that stuff that these people were trying to tell me. Unh-UH, no way, not a chance. Thennn....I started thinking(Uh-Oh). I let my mind start working against me and I began to soften to the idea that maybe, just maybe, all my effort and honesty was in vain, for the time being anyway. I began to grow a bit nervous and needed to seek another, more qualified opinion. The problem was, who, besides some outsider social worker that I didn't even know, and, who was way older than fourteen at the moment, could I confide in with such a personal and ultimately important question?

Well, I'm happy to say, miracles never cease, and last Sunday afternoon, while donating some of my time to a local community center, I was fortunate enough to get an opportunity to chat with some 13-15 year old young ladies from a local church(Mt. Zion) that were donating some of their resources as well. Initially I was a bit weary of the Idea of asking them about something so personal, but after reconsidering for a moment, I felt like, who better to ask? These were real fourteen year old girls, that are probably more keyed in to these things than probably any other type or age of person on the whole planet. So, I decided to seize this opportunity, while I had the chance.

First, I told the girls that I had a daughter that I loved, Skylar Wheatley, and she was about the same age group as them and that I would like them to help bring me up to speed on the latest lingo, not that I'd break the golden rule of using your words and all. Oh no, that would be eeeeeee-ville. Naw, I just wanted some insight from young people that would know the lingo. Well, it turns out that most of the words they were using were old castoffs from back when I was your age, and before. It looks like I'm pretty safe in that department. That's cool, just one less thing to be uptight about. Besides, I'm pretty moldable, and a quick learner too. Anyway............

A bit later, I was able to ask a much bigger question, in both scope and concern. After explaining that I haven't seen you for over ten years now, I told them all the stuff about being sure you'd want to see me and then hearing all this negative stuff about how that(your) desire, to know me and make contact, would not come about, if ever, until you were twenty something. I asked the girls, there were about seven of them(They were being closely chaperoned), if they were in that situation, would they want to hear from their father at that point?

Well, I was watching their faces very closely, and I could see them individually think about it for a second or two, then they unanimously proclaimed, and very enthusiastically, that definitely they would want to be in contact with their father, totally, and with a strong sense of absolution. Yipeeee! That totally made my whole month, I kid you not. I really needed to hear something positive for a change, know what I mean? That, coming from actual teenagers, made me feel a sense of refurbished confidence I had been badly needing for some time.

While I realize that this is not exactly an extensive and scientifically controlled study, by any means, the emphatic results I received both surprised and greatly reassured me, and also, they sort of brought me back to a realization I hadn't even realized I had begun drifting away from. Hearing such positive affirmations from these girls had a profound and useful effect on me. It brought me back, reconnected me, to the awareness of the G.F.E. connection between us, that is based in your very conception.

This whole experience has had the profound effect of renewing within me the tranquil confidence that comes with realizing the fact that you are my living prayer answered, and that as long as time exists there will exist a most natural and powerful connection between my heart and soul, and your heart and soul. Ya know, I believe that is the single most satisfying piece of knowledge I have held throughout the entirety of my life. It's an unequivocal, and highly diggable TRUTH.

I love you, Sky, and I'm forever grateful that this truth even exists. I just thought you'd find this interesting, and I can't help thinking that you would like to know, that you deserve to know, that I'm out here miserable because I don't get to have you near me. I want you to know Sky, that it's not at all, in any way, your fault that things are the way they are, and that it's hard for me to go on each day with out being able to have you in my life. It's also important to me for you to know, that you have a father that is kind and compassionate, that is of "very superior" intelligence, that is funny, and caring, and cool, and energetic (even when I'm WAY sick).......and that love's you very much. I just thought it was important for you to know.

Ohhh sweetie, I hate this situation, with all my heart, I hate it. Sometimes I think that I may literally be dying from a broken heart. It's bogus and unfathomable, and I think it's really taking a physical toll on me. I just don't even know what to do, it's starting to get the better of me. I know one thing for sure, all this nonsense has brought me to at least one definite conclusion, in particular. Skylar, when I ever do finally make contact with you (by the grace of God), please, just give it to me straight from your heart, Sky, and tell me exactly how you feel. Ok, sweetie? I just want for us to someday be able to get off on an honest start, and not to ever have any of these ridiculous games between us.

I think I should probably go for now, so this thing doesn't end up becoming the next "War and Peace", in size. It would if I'd let it, ya know. Well honey, until I should be so lucky as to hear some kind of.... anything from you, my beloved daughter, please take good care of yourself and be sure to exercise your body and your mind, everyday. It's been a little while since I've typed these words, so it doesn't feel quite so much like a broken record...but.....Darling, please be sure that you always are treating other people the way that you would honestly prefer to be treated.

Also, Sky, and this is an extremely important one, ALWAYS make sure that you make choices throughout your day that you are most certain that you can look back on and be glad that you made, and please darling, I implore you, always be sure that you are conscious of the choices that you make and make sure to make sure that you are doing what you know in your beautiful heart to be the righteousmost thing to do, and make us both proud. I miss you immeasurably and I pray that I should be fortunate enough to hear something from you soon. I love you, and I'll post again here as soon as I possibly can. God bless, and take care of the loved ones you have around you, for they are the true riches of your life.

All Of My Heart, And Forever,
Your Forever And Eternally Grateful Father