Hi Sky, I hope this finds you in good health and filled with reasonable vigor for attacking the day before you, miss Skylar Wheatley. Remember sweetheart,
you control your limits, so let yourself soar to great heights of achievement and allow yourself the personal fulfillment awarded to those who do. I hope you are learning a lot of good things in high school. I realize that a great deal of our schools these days can leave you kinda wondering who's in charge of education nowadays, and how in the world they could let things get this far out of hand.
Maybe if we start naming the classes after bombs and missiles, then they would start to take on a higher priority to the ones that control these institutions. Hopefully your school is one of the better ones, I know that some of them are holding strong just by the will and determination of a few good faculty members. There
are still some great teachers, and administrators, within this country, regardless of the state the system is presently in. Nevertheless, you should undoubtedly attempt to make the absolute best of what you
do have to work with, sweetie. But, of course, I know that you probably already realize that, Sky.
I hope you had an enjoyable Thanksgiving and I certainly hope that you were able to spend it with those close to you and that you
totally remembered to give thanks for all that you are blessed with. You know, regardless of what problems or deficits we seem doomed to suffer in this life, we always have a tremendous amount of things to be grateful for, and it certainly shouldn't take an organized national holiday to become aware of that, and to give thanks on a daily basis and be grateful for what we've got. Know what I mean? I'm sure you can grasp what I'm saying to you. You're surely more than sharp enough to figure it out, that's for sure.
Think about it Sky, some cliche's are catapulted
beyond cliche and firmly into the realm of "sage wisdom" territory, and the "glass is half full" one is one of those that continually rings true in our lives, everyday, every
second. You know the old adage I'm referring to, right? It talks about how you can view a half filled glass as half
full, or half
empty, and it really just depends on whether you decide to take a positive (optimistic) outlook toward things, or a negative (pessimistic) outlook toward things. I think, if you choose the positive take, that life can seem a whole lot more accessible to you, and a whole lot brighter too, in a general sense.
Whatever you choose to do in your life, and oh yes, please be sure that you realize, you
do have many many choices that you can make, I hope that you will never forget that no matter what the circumstances or state of our present situation, I will
always love you Skylar,
most truly and with
all of my heart, and that is unfluctuating and will
never ever change.
I swear this on my heart. Please know this as you face your every new morning, my lovely daughter, in your deepest heart of hearts. Within
my heart, I know that you already do. I pray that God may bless you and be with you, in all that you may do, and in every
millisecond of your life. Please allow, and encourage, this to happen.
I wish you were here with me Sky (MYSKY), I know that things would be much better if you were, because it's what's naturally supposed to be happening in the first place. This has only been disrupted by certain people, and
wrongfully so. And, though tough to admit, this situation has also been greatly failed by me, heartbreakingly so, for
me(
and
you?), but it's the truth of the matter nevertheless, and this is also very much wrong, on
my part. Allowing this situation to become this way is unprecedented, and undeniable, in taking the title as the absolute greatest mistake of all my days on this planet. And the worst part is, at this point, darling, I have absolutely
no idea how, or what, I could do to try and bring this all back to health and into the light of day, to a positive state of being. Oh woe is me.
I feel like one of those superheroes in the old cartoons, you know, like Superman or Aquaman and those type, that used to get stuck in overwhelming situations and then, just before it did them in, completely, they'd be like, "Mmmust ggget
sssstronger, mmmmust nnnot llllet thisss
deffffeat mmme", and then they'd get this burst of superstrength and overcome whatever situation was plaquing them.
Righteously Cool. Except those were all cartoons and were easily manipulated by the artists that created them, so that they would do what ever the artist wanted them to do. In
my situation, this is very much real life, and unfortunately, things just aren't quite that easy.
I just badly need to get stronger, to find some way to renew my strength, and mostly, to somehow find somebody that can, in any way, help me out of this incredible situation that I've gotten myself stuck in. I don't know
where to go if you need serious legal help on a zero dollar budget. I guess that either there
are no more of those pro-bono legal superhumans, or else for some reason, I just haven't had
any luck in being able to find them. I wish that I
could find them though, because I definitely have a few things that I'd really like to ask about. If there even
are any viable options in how I can effectively deal with this situation, then I pray to God above that he will
please just send some my way.
I have a
lot of questions about this situation. The most prominent one, next to "Where in the world
are you?", is, if I don't get to see you, know you, hear from you, or even know for sure
if or
where you presently exist, then how can I be expected to legally have any obligation to anything
involving you? I mean, if I'm going to be totally excluded, and not afforded any rights or privileges, then how, and why, should I have to be held accountable in the
first place? That seems obviously, and
grossly one-sided, to me. And
completely unfair to
me,
and to you.
It strikes me as somewhat odd that while the local medical community (God bless them all) will provide complete care for the most ugly of medical conditions, even if you do not have two pennies to rub together, yet for such a life crumbling, happiness disintegrating situation as this, there is simply
no place to turn to for any substantial quality or quantity of help. I really don't know what to do in this situation, and as it is presently, I am getting really tired of people looking down on me like I'm some kind of criminal or something.
The punishment I suffer emotionally, on a day to day basis, should be enough for someone, anyone, to stop and say "Hey, wait a minute, something's really wrong here, these people need some help, and as quickly as possible". But that doesn't happen, and nobody tries to help. It's like they all just assume that this has all got to be all
my fault, that I did all of this to myself, and that it's none of their concern. Meanwhile, I'm getting absolutely
pummeled by the court system. They won't even let me know how to get in touch with you.
No rights, absolutely
no acknowledgement as being an important asset to your life,
no real consideration at all, just pay, pay, pay....Or we're going to send you away to prison. Just lovely, way to go, people, that really helps a lot. Thanks?
Anyway, regardless of what people might think about
me, or the way I've managed to handle this situation, or
not handle it, for that matter, all of that is really pretty much completely irrelevant to what I need to accomplish, and the problems from which we are presently suffering. I certainly don't see too many people willing to offer some tangible, usable suggestions as to how I can dig my way
out of this predicament, or anything that is actually coming from a
positive realm of thought.
So it is in light of this observation, and experience, that I say.....
phooey on all the judgers and downlookers, and
fine then, let them go their own peaceful way,
without me. On second thought, I honestly fear that they probably just "know not what they do" and if only they knew the real true story, the
whole story, then maybe they would be more inclined to help me out here, and far less inclined to pass their judgment in such a negative light. People can be so topical and shallow sometimes.
This situation was/is, without any doubt, at
least an equal part my responsibility, and the thorns that cut me today were surely born of trees that I myself have planted many years ago, so please do not ever confuse my anguish in the state of things, concerning my personal involvement in your life, as me laying claim to any sort of status as a victim in this matter. No darling, it just very much hurts to be separated from you in this way, and the mental/emotional pain is
brutal, and
inhibitive to my rising above this disastrous situation that I've become embroiled in.
I need to go to school and get retrained so that hopefully I can still become gainfully employable, and can pay away the government harassment that I've come to be so heavily scrutinized by at present. I know it's crazy, but the whole state of my ability to know you, influence you, and gain a meaningful relationship with you, is all based soley, and completely, on money. It just seems very eerie and macabre that the people that get to make all the decisions in this matter would let a separation of this great magnitude even occure in the first place. And now they want to
punish me for it,
severely. Whew, it's just too much to cope with, honey, and it's just too
cruel for me to even fathom.
I don't know yet whether or not I will be allowed to complete it, as they are threatening a prison term, if you can believe that, but I have assigned myself to take a placement test at a local community college, and from there I will begin taking courses at the appropriate level. If I can get through school, and get a decent line to some strong income, then this whole situation can disappear forever. Unfortunately, the scars of missing your childhood years will haunt and torture me forever. Just punishment, perhaps, I don't know.....but I honestly, and
totally, don't think so. Not in
my opinion, not even
close.
Well sweetheart, on a much more positive note, at least I have the proverbial ball rolling in the right direction anyway. I must admit, I'm really very excited about attending school and having the opportunity to better myself and my future, not to mention, the possibility of being able to contribute to your college education, so that you will be able to have some excellent opportunities in
your life as well. I hope you will want to go to college, and better yourself, while you make yourself stronger as a person.
I love you very dearly, my lovely daughter, and I just want you to be able to honestly feel secure in that knowledge, and to carry that with you always, in your heart. You mean the world to me darling, and it is an unconscionable shame that you should ever have been separated from a compassionate, intelligent, and loving father like me, that loved and loves you so much, and that never wanted anything more than to have you in his life. I think, quite honestly, that I would make an excellent father, and, frankly, that your life would benefit
greatly from having me as a major part of it. What's
wrong with these people!!
And now somehow
I am a criminal from this. You know honey, I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but, I don't drink alcohol, or use hard street drugs,
ever. I also don't knowingly tell any lies, to
anyone, and I would
never steal from someone, or let someone get away with a crime while I'm a witness to it. Heck, I don't even use caffeine, and I stay away from too much sweets. I'm basically just an honest caring human being in my life. All in all, I feel like I am about as far from being a criminal as anyone could expect. Yet here I am, fighting for my life, and my daughter, and my very ability to even be free.
The biggest part of my life was supposed to be my witness and involvement in guiding and interacting with you in your childhood, while I was watching you grow up into the beautiful young lady, that I am left to merely
speculate, that you surely have become. Great God in heaven, this whole thing, to me, is just completely overwhelming. I don't honestly know at this point that I will ever make it through it. I guess I'll just keep up the struggle, and try and rise above. That is
definitely what I would tell
you to do, so I'd probably better just learn to take some of my own good advice on this one.
I know what I
need to do, at least, and that's a great start, it's just the factor of whether or not I will be strong enough and clear enough to pull this whole thing off successfully that causes all the stress. I guess we'll just have to see. Nothing
to it but to
do it, right? Right. Hmmm, what did I ever tell you about reducing stress? Let me know, 'cause I really need to start implementing that right now. In fact, I'll go to the library and check that out later,
today. If I've
ever truly needed some serious help in my entire lifetime, this would definitely be the prime time for it to come my way.
Pray for me dear, I'm going to do my best, and hopefully I will have Gods everloving hand to help guide me along my way. I must get going for now, Sky, but I will be finishing some of the posts that I have almost completed, but are unfortunately still backlogged :-( , and I'll post those to their appropriate time slots as I get them finished, which should be soon, I
hope so, anyway. Until I post again, my love.........
stay positive, and always show goodwill toward others Sky.
Always treat others the way that
you would prefer to be treated, sweetheart, and Skylar...as you approach your day...remember to ALWAYS be conscious of the choices that you make, and make certain that you are conscious of doing
what you know is the right thing for you to do. I so truly love you with all my heart, Sky, and I'll continue to pray for any sort of contact from you. I'll post again here soon babe, until then...Adieu ma fille, vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours. DIEU, J'AIME MON FILLE!! POUR TOUJOURS!!!
With All My Love And
Forever,Your
Eternally Grateful Father
