Ta Da !!!! And Now.....It's A Whole New Look!.....in stylin' new beautiful blue!!

Hi Sky, I hope everything's going well for you and that you are challenging yourself with positive and productive things. I know that if you're honestly trying that you're definitely getting somewhere, it's just built in to your master design, sweetie. Honestly, it seriously is, all you have to do is try really hard and never give up and your almost guaranteed an awesome shot at life. I realize that it may seem like I so easily throw these terms around, like, "all you have to do" and stuff like that, but, although I realize that living these things is absolutely way more difficult than merely uttering the idea of them in a sentence, I continue to stand unbendable in my confidence in what you have inside you and what you can become with that if you're only willing to use it in the proper way. Remember, dear child, nothing truly good is ever easy, and furthermore, nothing really worth doing is ever going to happen for you without, at the very least, a modicum of honest effort on your part.

Anyway sweetheart, that's something to think about. The biggest thing I was excited about posting on this post is that I have changed the design scheme of your web blog(blog!), now there's a whole new look! Yeay, I'm happy about that. Somehow though, there seems to be something seriously missing within this little celebration...........it's you, Sky....where in the world are you? You know, the honest fact is, you could be just about anywhere, in Indiana, California, Bangladesh, Planet Plooton(?), or right here in the same town as I am, and I wouldn't even have a clue. Would anyone please care to tell me how that is in any way right, or makes any sense at all? I honestly don't think they would, or could, for that matter, because it isn't right and it doesn't make any sense, at all, and there are other people involved here that know it, too. Harsh to the extreme.....and not too considerate either.

I would like you to know Skylar, that there are now more than 1200 people, from many different faiths and beliefs, praying to God(there's only one God, and one Love) that, if it be in his will, he may help guide you to this web log(blog!) and to help to make some sort of contact materialize between us. I thought that was pretty cool, myself, and I'm going to keep on asking people to put this situation in their prayers, be they catholic, protestant, muslim, hindu, christian, deist, witchdoctor, flower child, the wiki wiki tribe of the temple of the goonie googoo, or whatever/whoever I can find to join in(even the fundamentalists are invited), in the hope that something can finally happen for the positive in regards to this painful and unhealthy situation that we are in with our relationship, or lack thereof, as it may presently be.

I am grateful to be fortunate enough to realize with the highest reverence, that....There is only one God. There is only one Love. There is only one World.....and there is only one little person running around out there with my genes in her. Darling, I would never take any of these things for granted. What more can I say Skylar, I love you, and I want to make sure that you're doing all right and I want to make positive sure that you are personally aware that I would always want to have you near me. More than anything in this world, I would want to have my beautiful daughter in my life.

I wish you were here more than I wish I were healthy, and I really REALLY wish I was healthy. More than anything Sky, even more than a billion dollars, that is, if that wouldn't allow me to turn this situation around, but as it is, it definitely would(that'd be intensely cool). Other than that fact though, I'd much rather have you around me than to have a billion dollars in cash, or three trillion dollars or any amount of money for that matter. Don't you see Sky, I just love you sooo much honey, that you're priceless to me. And now, the thought of even seeing a picture of you feels like I'd be winning the power megaball or whatever that stupid lottery's called. That's just not right. Nothing, and I'll repeat this....NOTHING I could do or could have done in the past, could cause me to deserve to have to endure this kind of ugly and unrighteous pain. Nothing. And I defy anyone to show me otherwise.

I love you sweetie, and I've wanted to be equally involved in your life since long before you were conceived, my darling girl. And as a matter of fact, in a moment of deep introspective honesty, I must admit, even some significant time before I even met your mother. Yes, this is true my darling. Do you think that I refer to you, and speak to you, in the manner I do because I just think that it sounds nice? No daughter, I implore you to understand as the truth, I only speak to you from my truest of hearts, my love.

When other guys were dreaming about owning some tricked-out motorcycle or big jet boat, or obtaining some big-wig power position, or marrying a supermodel, etc. etc. etc., I was dreaming of how huge a blessing it would be if God would bless me with a daughter of my own. One that I could help to raise up from a baby and I could teach the fundamentals of learning, and simple things, like how to tie her shoe. I wanted a daughter that I could show the path and aid her to stay a course of righteousness and empower her to become a person she would be able to feel honored and grateful to be, and this would greatly honor me, as well, as her father. Maybe someday she could even be involved in helping to bring about some positive change in this world, for the benifit of humanity as a whole, or do something that had an honest positive impact on our world.

I wanted all the same things any grateful father would want from their child, and I wanted, a "daddy's little girl". I felt, and still do quite honestly, that the absolute most honorable, and just totally righteous thing that any fair-natured man could ever have in his life, was a daughter. I believed then, as still I do to this day, that being blessed with a daughter and raising her to become a self respecting and virtuous woman, that could stand on her own and could look at her life as a gift, would be the most honorable and personally gratifying experience that any man could ever live to take part in. What I wanted was a challenge, a responsibility, a learning experience, a future confidant, and a friend.

What I really wanted Skylar, was you, honey. You were, you ARE, exactly what I prayed to God for when I asked for a daughter of my own. For me. For my heart. Yet, now look what has happened to this dream, it has been irreparably fractured and disarranged, without my input, and beyond my ability to control. Do you think for even one second that I would have things the way they are by my choice? If you do, my darling beautiful daughter, in any way, please Skylar, know in every chasm of your heart that nothing could be any futher from the truth. I wanted you with me then, baby girl, and I'd love to have you here with me right now. This is about the only thing I can think of that is a definite constant throughout the entirety of my life. That, and the fact that God will continue to be far more patient with me than I deserve. Oh yeah, and I'll never like liver, ewww yuck, that stuff is nasss-tay....eww, way narly.....yuckzilla, no way. :-[

So don't you ever feel elsewise, Sky, because without you here, my heart is truly breaking, everyday, every hour, of my life, sweetie. It's been that way since the last time that I looked in to your beautiful pool blue eyes, and I thought I could actually hear my heart breaking, and that was only because I thought I would be gone for three or four weeks. Ohhhh Sky, I just really wish ya were here sweetheart, so we could talk about stuff, and watch some movies, and eat ice cream and you know, just hang out a bit, together. My heart is in a mess sweetie, so I am going to cut this short and go and run, well, hobble(I use a cane right now), around the block a couple thousand times until I can start to get some relief from this feeling. It's for sure a feeling that no man should ever have to feel. I wouldn't wish it on the wickedest man on earth. Woe is me.

Until I post again, and I'll put some of the backlogged posts up as soon as I can, you stay positive, and show goodwill toward others Sky. Always treat others the way that you would prefer to be treated, Sky, and Skylar...as you approach your day..remember to always be conscious of the choices that you make, and make certain that you are conscious of doing what you know is the right thing for you to do. I love you with all my heart, Sky, and I'll continue to pray for any sort of contact from you. I'll post again here soon, until then...Adieu ma fille, vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours. DIEU, J'AIME MON FILLE!! POUR TOUJOURS!!!

Sincerely and forever,
Your Eternally Grateful Father

Coming Soon .......A Whole New Look........

Hi Sky, I've been battling with this medical thing and the ridiculous stuff they give you to take for pain is just unbelievable. I have been writing some stuff in my notebook though, so when I do the new update to the blog I will have some more posts to put on too. I hope that everything is working out for you out there in "where-in-the-world-are-you-ville", I miss you very badly Skylar and I really wish that you were here with me, or at the very least, somewhere really close by so I could at least communicate with you, and so maybe we could get to know each other better and hang out sometimes, if you wanted too. Perhaps I'm just dreaming, but darn it, that's fair for me to do, and besides, that shouldn't even have to be a fathers dream, to see his child. I mean, that should be an assurance, In my humbled opinion. I'm totally for real on that one, it's cruel and wrong the way things are goin'. And I'm beyond bummed out about it too. This has been completely bogus on my side from the beginning, and I'm not the only one who knows it, either.

Anyway sweetheart, I didn't get on here to rant and rave about civil injustice, that will only make me feel all upset and crank the 'ole pain factor up a few notches, and I definitely don't wanna go lookin for that. So I suspect since I've gotten myself all worked up over this I should get on to a more tolerable subject instead, like school. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to begin classes yet but I'm looking forward to that, if perhaps a bit impatiently. You on the other hand, must be well into the high school experience by now and I hope that you are finding positive ways to adapt to your new environment and that you're honestly attempting to learn new things. I love you very much Sky, and I want you to always remember that. I know that there are things, some really serious things, that we have to talk about, but If you just got to know me the slightest bit I know that you would be able to see how true that is, and you could also get to see what kind of a person I trulyam, in person, for your own cognition.

I love you now, and I have always loved you, darling, even before you were conceived, and before I knew that you would be beautiful and your name would be Skylar. I just want you to know that what I'm saying to you is truthful and totally real. Anything I ever say to you will be from the truest place in my heart, or you'll for sure know that I'm kiddin' around 'cause I'll generally try and make it obvious when I am. Well sweetie, I didn't intend to be going this long on this post, but I just wanted to let you know that I definitely haven't forgotten about you (and NEVER will), and that not only is this web log(blog!) still going strong, but it's also in the works for a complete makeover that will have it looking even better than before! We're going to blue! Whoohoo!!(see, kidding, obvious, right?) Anyway Sky, I just wanted to let you know these things and to say how much I've been thinking about you and how much I'm missing you on a daily basis. I guess you could call this unfair extraodinaire, for some folks anyway. Oh, also, I was thinking that it's been a long time since I've reminded you about this, so I thought I'd better say this too.......

Please make sure that you treat people how you would prefer to be treated, and don't let anybody treat you like doodoo, in others words, you should demand a fair amount of respect in how others treat you, commensurate with the respect that you show to others. You see, the "golden rule" should work both ways, and although you're only responsible for your half, it's nice when the effort is reciprocated. And....please, always remember to be conscious of the choices that you make and be sure that you do what you intuitively know to be the right thing to do. Ok, thanks Sky. Gosh, I miss you so much darling, I just wish that I could even say hello, or ask you how your feeling and actually listen to a reply. I'll hold these dreams forever until they may become my grandest realization. I pray, with all my heart, that this can and will someday become my reality. God bless you my lovely daughter, and may peace and love surround you my beautiful beautiful girl.

With All My Love, And Forever
Your Forever E.G.F.