Be True To Yourself And Good Things Will Come Your Way

Hi Sky, I wish you were here sweetie. I've been really busy with educating myself at college lately, and it appears that while this will be an incredible step up for my life, and I will be kept extremely busy with all the work involved with going to college fulltime, unfortunately, it doesn't look like it's going to take any of the hurt out of how much I'm missing you. Major Bummer. I was hoping that this college process might take a sort of "two birds with one stone" effect and help to alleviate some of the harshness of being away from you while I am bettering my life. NOT.

So anyway, Sky, how have you been? I realize you may have to think back to remember how you were when I wrote this, because you probably have not found this yet. I know this is obviously not the best way to communicate with someone, but you just have to reflect a little on the fact that I am writing this in real time, and you're getting it ...well...when ever you end up getting it. Hopefully that's by now, but if not then I pray that you will find this thing a.s.a.p. because I'd love to think that I'm actually talking to a live and actively thinking audience, know what I mean?

I hope that you have been able to assimilate your new high school experiences and have found some new and productive ways to make this a beneficial time for yourself. Ya know, although it probably feels alot like everybody's trying to tell you what to do all the time, this time is really a time for you, a time when you can build an integral foundation for yourself in preparation for the rest of your life, which of course, I would severely LOVE to be a part of(so keep that in mind too!). I just want, and hope for you to be able to realize the positive opportunities that your in the midst of right now, in the here & now, and that you'll be able to seize the chance to gain flight to a higher and better place in your life. I Love You Skylar, sooo very much.

I pray that you will stay safe from harmful things, and be lifted up by the winds of inspiration and swept into a heavenly direction. It is my fondest dream to see you do well in your life. At this point it's actually my fondest dream just to be able to see you, but I'll always wish you well, my love, regardless of the state of our relationship. It's my deepest concern that you will just have the courage to give new and positive things a try, and to engage life with a verve that shows your fathers genetic influence. It is also very important for you to approach all this with the peace of mind that comes with knowing that messing up and making mistakes is all just an integral part of the discovery and learning process.

I have great faith in you though Sky. It's that fatherly genetic influence. You have the goods to get things done, honorably, productively, and efficiently. You need only to find the way to connect with these abilities and integrate them into your life. Just never quit trying Sky, that's all that truly matters babe. Just keep the faith, and never give up. I'm certainly way far from knowing everything, but this is one thing that I know quite a bit about, and my knowledge in this area is backed up with some pretty remarkable experience.

Well sweetheart, I guess I should probably get a move on, being a college student puts some serious demands on your time. I hope that you can honestly reflect on some of the things I say to you in this web log, and that in time you may be able to find some of them useful in your own life as well. Please take time to tell the ones you love that you care alot about them, Sky. It's important that we share the way we feel about the people that are important to us while we have the living opportunity. We can never know how long we will be able to enjoy any individuals company and influence in our lives and if we are ever forced to suffer the loss of someone that we loved and/or respected, it could be a priceless gift to be able to know that this person was aware of how you honestly felt about them, just in case we might never be afforded the opportunity again. Love'em while ya got'em, in the living years.

I'm still dreaming of hearing from you and I hope you can somehow be drawn to just put you're name(or mine) into any major search engine and see what comes up. Someday I know this dream will come true and you will somehow come across this web log. Like I was saying, until then I guess I'll somehow just have to keep the faith and know that I'll make it through. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART SKYLAR and I hope to get some sort of contact from you real soon.

Take care of your loved ones that are around you and keep yourself well darling. And, as always, please be sure to treat others at least as good as you would prefer to be treated, and remember to always be conscious of doing the right thing and make choices that you can look back on and be glad you made. I know you probably know these things Sky, but I just want you to be alright and these things both will help you in a huge way, to be a better person, and to better enjoy your life.

Take care sweetheart, I LOVE YOU. And I pray that I will somehow see you soon. Adieu ma fille, vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir. Vous aurez mon coeur pour toujours. Je t'aime chèrement mon beau Ciel. Veuillez me contacter bientôt, mon amour. I miss you Skylar, really bad. May peace and love surround you my lovely daughter, and may God bless your every breath and keep you under his protection.

All My Love and FOREVER,
Your Eternally Grateful Father

Skylar, I Did It !! I'm In COLLEGE !!! Now It's Time To Start Making Some PERMANENT Improvements In My Life !!!!

Hi Sky, I hope you are having a good time, so far, with your high school career. It always sounds alot easier than it is, to try and get a sound education, but, if there ever was anything that I could totally assure you of, it would be that getting a sound and well rounded education is definitely among the greatest idea's you could ever come up with, and definitley worth the effort involved in getting there. Whew, I'm here at school right now, writing these words to you, right before I start my first ever college class, and christen my new college career, thus beginning the path to a much better life for myself, and you too someday, I pray. Skylar, this is SO amazingly exciting, sweetheart!!!

I don't know WHAT I would do if I didn't have any opportunities like this, to help to make a livable life for myself. Thank God that I'm able to even BE in school right now, and that, someday, I'm sure, He's gonna bring you home to me, and finally grace my life with your long missed, and much desired, presence in my life. I know that things aren't easy when you're trying to assimilate new tasks and subject matter, but, If you...wait a sec...if WE, can just hold on, and keep the faith, while realizing the dramatic amount of improvement our lives will enjoy through gaining a decent education, I feel confident that, before long, we will be able to look back on these days, and be glad that we went through the struggles, and put out the effort, that's necessary to obtain a solid education for ourselves.

Well sweetie, I have to get off to MY FIRST CLASS!! I just wanted to steal away a few seconds to let you know what I'm up to these days, and to just generally keep in touch. I Love You Sky, please know that as the whole fact as pertaining to the light in which I hold my personal regard for you. I am trying to find a way to gain access to an attorney to help me out in this matter, and to, hopefully, make some headway on locating you and letting me know that you are truly, REALLY, doing alright. It is also very important to me that you have the ability to contact me at any time, about anything, and whenever you wish, and I hope I will be able to fully establish that ability for you(us) as well. That would certainly be the very least I could expect from an attorney.

Sky, please take a moment and read the closing paragraghs on a few of the posts that I've published prior to this one. It would greatly please me, and certainly benefit you to a high level as well, if you were to take heed to the requests that I make to you, repetitively(for a reason- i.e.- their extreme significance to your life), before closing each post. Always remember in your heart and mind, Sky, that I love and miss you, darling. Skylar, my absolute fondest dream is, always was, and will continue to be untill fulfilled, to have you in my life and by my side, baby, as the beautiful daughter that I relentlessly prayed for, and was, on one special day back in '91, eternally blessed beyond my wildest imaginations by, as you materialized into a real life living dream come true for me. I feel an unrelenting compulsion, to be as plainly honest with you as I can, and it's important to me for you to truly know, my love, how I honestly feel inside.

I Love You With Every Essence Of Positive Energy In My Heart, Skylar. That's simply and truly how I feel, and I just thought that these honest feelings might be held to some importance to you. That is why I share with you my true heart, my love. I thought you'd like to know. Take care of the family members that you have around you, Sky, as I cannot stress enough the true value of having those that you love around you, to depend on, and share in witness to your life. God bless you, Skylar Wheatley, and may you find peace and a lasting sense of lovingness through out your days and nights. I will post again here soon, my love. Keep the faith, Sky, and never surrender to negativity. We're going to make it to a better place, honey, the both of us. Adieu ma fille. Mon coeur est toujours à vous, mon beau ciel.

All Of My Heart Is Yours,
Your Forever Adoring Father (w/the G.F.E.)

Skylar Wheatley, It's All About Taking That FIRST Step, Sky!!!

Hey sweetheart, I hope your day is going well. I want to tell you how much I love you and have it be original, fresh, and new, but since I say that 1000 times an hour, I suppose that that's something that has a tendency to get overused. Please don't let it get that way with me, Sky. In MY heart, it's ALWAYS as real, and new, and genuine, as it was the very first time I told you, which was way back when you were about a foot and a half long!! Anyway, I mean it EVERY SINGLE TIME, and with it being Me, and with the way this situation is so messed up, I think that it would be great if you could cut me a little slack in that area. As God see's my heart, you are a forever, and foremost, love of my life. And I'm happy that you always will be.

Ok, anyway, so how are things going for you, sweetheart? Are you getting to where you are a bit more acclimated to your school environment now? I hope you can find the courage, deep within yourself, to continue on in your education, with a growing sense of confidence, and a zeal for the quest of discovery. I know for certain that, if you were with me right now, we would work through these situations together, Sky. And I would be willing to stick with you on this until you were able to gain a true sense of the value of your opportunity to learn new things, and until you were able to begin to grow into a lasting sense of confidence about who you are, and what you are capable of doing, to a positive end.

I certainly hope that you are receiving this kind of "one-on-one" attention, and interactiveness, without me being there. You absolutely deserve nothing less, my love, and I am 100% positive that you are completely worthy of this level of personal attention, so there is no excuse, and it is ENTIRELY unacceptable, if you are not. Part of the reason I was always so excited about having a baby girl(YOU, Sky!) in the first place, was to have the opportunity, and challenge, to walk with her through the difficult momments and to help her to grow into a positive, productive, and self confident person, as she increased in age to a well rounded, intelligent, compassionate adult.

Although I realize that life is not exactly a "cut and dry" experience, and that sometimes from the middle of the growing pains of life, that it's sorta difficult to clearly see the progress you're making, hopefully you are currently experiencing nothing less than this level of care and attention in your life, Sky. You truly and TOTALLY deserve nothing less than that. One of my biggest fears and concerns with not being invited or allowed into your life right now, is that for some unqualified reason (and NOTHING qualifies, mind you), you are not getting the attention and tender loving care and mental/emotional support that you need, and deserve to have.

If there is any one thing I know, with absolute sureness, it is that you are a beautiful, priceless blessing to my (Our) life, and that you merit the kind of personal attention, and concern that is necessary in order for you to be able to evolve, and grow into a secure and mentally/emotionally healthy woman. God knows, we already have far beyond our fair share of grown women in this world, that find their selves riddled with psycho/emotional problems and some sort of trainwreck mental catastrophe from their pasts that they are now forced to endure, and work through, before they can be afforded the basic ability to even get on with living a normal productive life for themselves.

I found you in deplorable conditions, and practically unattended, one time, darling, and shortly after my protesting of that situation, you were wisked unknowingly out of state, and what would eventually amount to, out of my life, nearly completely. I feel as though I let you down on that day, my dear daughter, and only for the fear of losing the grace of having you in my life. Now, in retrospect to that moment, I can see, quite clearly, the error of my decisions within that moment, and I wish aloud to God, in my vanity, that I could just, somehow, live that day over again, and make the crucial choices that I felt were so threatening to our connectedness at that time. I will suffer the resulting consequence of my inaction on that day, for the total remaining days of my life. In retrospect, I have never made a worse decision in the whole of my life.

If you are presently not recieving the level of care and involvement that you require, and deserve, in your life, then, my daughter, I regretfully confess to you that the greatest responsibility for this completely unfair misgiving, and hardship, is to be placed no where else except firmly, and squarely upon my shoulders. To even think of the possibility that you are receiving anything less than the upstandard care and attention that you deserve, require, and that I am positive that I could give you, well then, there will surely be hell to pay for that one, and this time, the culpability has been largely stolen from me and placed directly on the shoulders of the ones currently in charge of your guardianship and developmental care.

Know this, without revocation, Sky, that while life's circumstances can sometimes throw us some richly undeserved curveballs at times, you will always have the ability to retain and utilize the personal power to rise above whatever situations or problems that plague you, and you can make yourself a better life for yourself, and make yourself into a better person along the way. These words stand solid and true, my love. Take them and realize their truth, and the opportunity, reassurance, and freedoms that they promise to you.

I love you dearly Skylar, and I want you to always know, without any doubt, that I will be here for you, if, and when, you ever decide that you need me, my emotional support, or guidance through anything, and at anytime in your life. You can do anything you truly put your mind to, Skylar, you just have to be willing to do the work, and most importantly of all, take that first important step. Just always try your best, and that takes a certain willingness and acceptance of your weaknesses and personal faults. Remember, like Eleanor Roosevelt, the former First Lady of the United States once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Remember that one Sky, it's an important wisdom to keep in mind. I have to go for now, sweetie. I will miss you even more until I'm writing in this web log again.

Before I go, sweetheart, here's another quote that you might find useful and reassuring, and maybe find some insiration in - "In oneself lies the whole world, and if you know how to look and learn, then the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either that key or the door to open, except yourself." J. Krishnamurti

Please be responsible in your ever growing maturity Skylar, and be sure to always treat others at least as well as you would prefer to be treated yourself. And as I always make sure to remind you, darling, please.....always make sure that you are conscious of the choices that you make, and for your own good and the common welfare of others, make sure that you do the right thing. I Love you, sweetheart, and I will post again here soon. May peace surround you and keep you in its fold. Vous êtes ma légèreté et mon espoir. Soyez bon ma belle fille. Je t'aime chèrement Skylar.

With Utmost Love and Sincerity,
Your FOREVER Loving Father (That is missing you to death)

Skylar Wheatley, Loving You, And Missing You Badly, My Beautiful Daughter!!!!

Hi Sky, It's now 2006, and I begin college in two more weeks! Yikes! I would say that I'm having a mixed feeling of both total nervousness, and total excitement, at the prospect of getting to attend college and make a better life for myself, so that after I get a degree and find a good job, then I can give all of my newly earned money to the states of Illinois and Indiana!! Yeay!!! I guess life doesn't always have to be fair.

Yes, often times life can seem entirely unfair, and we never like it when it does, but that's just an irrevocable reality of life, sweetheart, and the best we can do with that is just to learn to take the bad parts with the good parts, stay positive, and strive to do the absolute best that we possibly can. Besides, in this case, it sure will be great to eventually get these government leeches off of my back for good.

The situation I am suffering through with the court system is an entirely anonymous sort of process, and they basically couldn't care any less about me, my situation, or any aspect of my relationship with you. Heck no, they just want money. Money period. Cold, unfeeling, and as mechanical as it gets. Just send me the money.

It's crazy having to deal with these people (in the court system) because if it weren't for their bothering me, then I would probably never ever have any other kind of concerns with getting into trouble with the "System" or law enforcement in general. I'm not saying that I'm a perfect angel, but I don't break the law, and I'm never a nuisance to anyone these days. I've came a long way, babe. I honestly feel like I have grown, as a person, into a man you could truly be proud of, to have as your father, and as a person you could be inspired by.

I've been really busy(overwhelmingly so) looking for an apartment lately, but no luck as of yet. Jeez, I thought it would be considerably easier than it has been to find a place before now, but I guess with all of my requirements it makes it a little harder to find something suitable. I have an appointment with a gentleman today to discuss his terms and whatnot, so I'll let ya know how that turns out. Wish me luck, it looks like I'm gonna need it!

Oh, I didn't tell you yet, 'cause I guess in all the bustle of looking for somewhere to live I must have just forgot, but, you're web log has been on network television. No Doubt, Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I was just walking down the street, when I encountered a news crew, and just to get a smile I said, "Is this my five minutes?(of fame)", and they laughed, and then asked me about my physical situation, and everything just sorta took off from there. It all ended up turning into a full lenth human interest story about me, and what's presently going on in my life! Weird, huh? For sure.

I don't know exactly how any of that came to be, but, the coolest thing is, they not only mentioned on the air that I was presently looking for my daughter, but they also took it upon themselves to go back to the station and look up your web log, this web log, and they filmed an actual realtime camera image of this web log and put that on the air as well! The story ran on the news station WMBD during primetime news at 6:00, then again at 10:00, and also the following morning and day as well!! WhooHoo!! Your famous, babe! And you didn't even know that thousands of people were wondering where you are.

Sky, I'm still trying to work out a new format, or technique, to get these posts out in a timely manner while I'm going to college full time, but I haven't exactly gotten that nailed down just yet. Don't worry though, I'll surely come up with something, it just might take a bit longer than I'd like it too, that's all. This is far too important to me for me to just let it fade away or something. Nope, there's definitely a crazy strong will, so there eventually will come a nifty new way to balance it all. In due time, my dear, I just have to exercise a little patience, that's all.

There is a chance, I'm afraid, that these posts will be getting a substantial bit more difficult to write and get posted, but, like I said, never fear, my love, this is important enough where I will find a way. I just wanted to give you a little heads up to the fact that things may likely be a bit haphazard for the next few weeks, or possibly even a bit more, because of my having to adapt to a full time college curriculum and all. Perhaps I can figure out something in regards to this newest stressor in my life, and maybe do the posts in a different way or something. I'll deal with that bridge when I get to it, but I'll figure something out.

Wish me luck, sweetie, I'm going to COLLEGE!!, YYEEEESSSSS!! It's about darn time too, that's totally for sure. In the mean time, I hope that you will be putting an equal amount of honest effort in to your schoolwork, and that you will make a promise, to yourself, to do the absolute best you possibly can, in the hopes of someday getting the chance of a way better life for yourself in the future. Well darling, I need to get going for now, I have a meeting about a new home, so I'll close for now, and write again within the next four or five days.

Skylar, please remember to always look out for yourself in the best way possible, sweetheart, and, that it is necessary for you to remain conscious of the choices that you make in order to do so. I want for you always the best, my darling, and that means that you will need to remember to always treat other people the way that you would prefer to be treated, as an individual, in order to be able to help cultivate a positive and supportive environment for yourself, in which you will be able to live within.

I Love You So Much, Sky, and please do not hesitate to contact me if ever even the slightest inclination should occur to you. I love you with all my heart, Skylar, and I'm missing you to the point of sickness. Please send an email, and tell me that you're there, and that you're truly, really, doing alright. My heart cries out for you, wherever you are. Take care of yourself, darling daughter, and look out for the family that you do have around you, for they are truly beyond a priceless treasure to your heart. I 'll post again here as soon as I can. I Love you, Sky, and I pray that peace and love may surround you, and keep you safe and healthy. Try you're best to stay positive, beautiful one, and I hope to hear from you soon.

ALL Of My Heart Is Yours,
Your Eternally Loving Father